i choose to write with water

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by monica_decosta, Apr 19, 2010.

  1. So i choose to write with water,
    brinked, pure and tasteless
    fill me a little bit
    colour me
    with your dusky aroma, breathless

    a green dot on th' messanger,
    shows me ur there stilled
    But u neva touch - touch, my dot again
    this space wont ever get filled..

    to switch the ways i count again
    plus nine one.. and a ting-ta-ding
    in ur hands they will be then
    those words that i wanted to sing.

    there are sooo many roads that lead to
    soo soo many connects there are
    But some how we never reconnect
    althought we are just a click afar...

    these groups of balck dots ..say pix-cell
    they ca'nt keep what i really have for u
    Its an entire ecology,
    a living breathing thing so real & so true..

    So i choose to write with water,
    brinked, pure and tasteless
    fill me a little bit
    colour me
    with your dusky aroma, breathless
     
  2. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    Hmm ... this is good actually. Well defined. I will come up with more in sometime
     
  3. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    awesome....
    reps!
     
  4. Thanks....!!
     
  5. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    As promised Iam back with some observation on this piece.

    I liked it for sure, nice blend of anxiety and rememberance. Just wanted to understand your understanding of first para.
     
  6. I dont knw...as a matter of fact i dont really remember y i worte this...this ws some late night thing so cant explain...

    And Mr walk alone ur languge is soooo official sort of as if ur comment is an official mail......................i hate corporate culture!!!
     
  7. suprita

    suprita New Member

    its really nice.....gr8.
     
  8. sukriti_hats

    sukriti_hats Member

    i read it....n i ws lyk...
    "whoaaaa"
    truly amazing...a round of applause 4 u :)
     
  9. Thanks girls..!!
     
  10. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    @ Monica ... no offence. This is how I comment, so bear with me. though I will try to be lil "un-offcial" .. is that ok chica.

    :)



     
  11. ^^^ Yo yo.....
     
  12. nandy0894

    nandy0894 New Member

    its really worth an applause....very nice... :)
     
  13. allstarsband

    allstarsband New Member

    gr8 lines.......i luved it!
     
  14. oska

    oska New Member

    this one is quite nice!
     
  15. pakeeza1990

    pakeeza1990 New Member

    its great share and i like it so much and hope all the members will enjoy it
     
  16. Maxnumar

    Maxnumar New Member

    yes it has fuel leak but it not just water draining out bottom you ca see water and oil seperate and there no seperating happening here aye.will c how it goes after oil change,hope it was just a oncer.
     
  17. crazyexpress

    crazyexpress New Member

    So i choose to write with water,
    brinked, pure and tasteless
    fill me a little bit
    colour me
    with your dusky aroma, breathless

    They say that the beginning and the end should be perfect, and so it is. :)
    You shape it up well, but still leave it vague for interpretation. That is cute, but leaves me baffled. Some parts are hard to interpret.

    I think you're talking about the internet.. as the 'ecology' living and breathing. But im really not sure..
    Could you give me an idea?
     
  18. ok i think ur under age- :) so for u i would explain.

    Background: in modern world ppl r connected through soo many ways, we all r just a click afar but still ppl r lonley.
    Theme: human relationships have soo many elements that to express wht you hold for some one is not possible through just any media. No matter how many connects we have we still need to meet the people in flesh and blood... caress and love.. believe the dove.
     
  19. crazyexpress

    crazyexpress New Member

    Underage indeed. Well, internet, that was a close guess then.

    Phew, i think i know what you meant at the first read even if it was a bit cloudy.
    Thank you for the explanation; it is always good to know that im not that thick with poetry.

    Keep writing. :)
     

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