Hurry...tell me is this any good..

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by DrSaurabh, Nov 27, 2004.

  1. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C

    hey guys tell me how good or bad this is....wrote this for someone special.. :eek:: :p:
    i told her that i thought abt her 24/7 and she asked me ....what do i think about....and i started wondering too...and came up with title...

    talking to you the other day...
    u put in my mind a question
    how do u figure out
    in my daily equation....

    since I've fallen in love with u..
    ive not stopped thinking about u
    I loose track of what I think..
    but I know that I wanna know too....

    I think about the look u give me..
    with ur eyes so bright..
    the one which tells me
    that u love me alright...

    and the look u give me
    thru ur eyes pursed....
    with that impish twinkle...
    some mischief I know u surely nurse

    or the times when am close
    so close to u that it seems..
    that with u my world begins...
    and without u it looses its sheen..

    so close that our noses touch..
    and our eyelashes caress the other.
    our breath we can feel
    our lips die to pucker..

    and still I look into those eyes
    to find them looking back at me.
    with the life that they drown me in
    the ecstasy makes my heart bleed

    I think abt those rare moments..
    when we r close to each other..
    with me getting intoxicated
    by ur scent, ur aroma...
    my knees buckle and in a trance, I totter....

    and when I steal those touches ..
    a hand here...a foot there, with my lips touching it
    me caressing ur skin....oh, ur porcelain skin...
    the adrenaline just makes my heart...
    like a butterfly's wings flutter...

    precious are those times when u & me
    like two neophyte lovers...
    just linger a look, or that knowing smile
    always wary of the watching others...

    the time we spend talking,
    when u pamper me without intention...
    treating me with utmost care
    giving me the security, the reassurance

    the kiss which was so perfect...
    so perfect that it made perfection curl up in shame...
    the kiss which made two storm clouds coalsce..
    and applaud it with all their thunder..

    the supple feel of ur lips on mine...
    makes the blood rush to face
    the passionate swirl of ur tonge
    stirs emotions in me, which i gladly embrace

    the feeling I get when I hold ur hand..
    the warmth they just exude...
    the cozy hug, the wonderful cuddle.
    the lack of which questions my existence, my roots

    the times am with myself
    i peer into the time yet to come...
    see a life i want to spend in those arms..
    loving u each moment of my life, loving u each moment of your life...
    and after that..until the end of time..

    when i see those children,
    yet unborn, in your eyes
    u redefine what being a woman is..
    always pouring oddles of love, without an ounce of malice....

    the thought of us, makes me cry...
    worry not, for these are tears
    shed by a heart so overwhelmed by the thought
    of being loved back by you...being in love with u..
    thank you is all they say to you..sorrow isnt why they are here,

    only if i could currette my mind
    to know what more i ponder
    but for now, i know this is more
    than my madly in love heart can gather...
  2. skaw

    skaw snooze

    all i am gona say is ... I NEVER KNEW YOU WROTE SO GUD :) .. GUD JOB .. ITS NICE PERFECT FOR 'HER' :p
  3. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C

    but people....please hurrry.....i need to know if i can give this to her..........
  4. zoomingrocket

    zoomingrocket TeChNiCaL AdMiNiStRaToR

    Tat was straight from the heart!

    Yup, you can surely give this to her...

    Keep it up!

  5. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    coollll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!wish i could write like that
  6. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Brilliant poem DrS, direct 'dil se' this poem, you can surely give it to her:)
  7. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C

    thx peope...u knw what sucks.shes outta town and not gonna be here till tom that blows.. :badmood:
  8. Reem

    Reem Banned

    Wonderful poem.. but a soft whisper of "I L U" is enough ;)
  9. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C

    not for what i feel for this girl tried that never seem to get that content feeling.....that i finally conveyed what i wanted to say....
  10. Venus

    Venus New Member

    i think its realllllll good..... wud also prove to be nice lyrix for a soft song............
  11. esgallindeion

    esgallindeion Minstrel Knight

    Well, straight from the heart and directly aiming at the point... no fancy beating around the bush... :)
  12. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    wow , awesome work dude , u gonna rock her out of her chair maen , keep it up ,...
  13. maverick8218

    maverick8218 New Member

    that was really nice, she's gonna get a pleasant surprise when she gets back...
  14. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    You'll knock her socks off(excuse the expression):)
  15. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    i ve heard that for the 1st time as far as love is concerned , to knock someones socks off , lol
  16. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Wrong usage, pardon me:) But whatever, as long as it gets the meaning across:)
  17. DrSaurabh

    DrSaurabh Wh@+s Up D0C
    gave it to her....she liked it :ptime: :band:
  18. skaw

    skaw snooze

    wooo hoooo .... all dis time i stood in stress, hoping she'd like ur poem .. n she did ... phew... tell her .. thank you for liking it .. if she didn't like it then all my fake applaud wuldve been of no use (it suked man << kiddin :))
  19. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    She liked it peeps!!! hip hip hooray!!!! so any replies from her man....what's the deal now...bra, details, c'mon
  20. bob-bobby

    bob-bobby Extinct or Banned!

    way to go doc , no wonder u r all lil pup fluffy ,....

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