Heart Broken

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Dec 29, 2006.

  1. #iR@


    heres something longer than wat i rite... not something i went through! was just really sad wen i rote it...


    Come join me in this ride
    That I have taken alone, over and over again
    Help me pull myself together
    Help me from falling apart

    I meet people of all kinds and ages
    All having superiority in common
    None original nor unique
    All lost in the race for fame
    Pulling each other back
    Hoping to get ahead
    I am sorry but none of this would help
    For what they are is fake

    Busy in impressing others
    Beautifying themselves from head to toe
    Painting their faces for a better look
    Wearing clothes worth some ones life
    Walking around with pride
    I see them making me look worse

    Here I sit
    In the endless night
    Looking as horrible as ever
    Tied my hair in a ponytail
    Dressed up in a plain white dress
    Wiping my tears all alone
    I sit in the corner hoping for “my” man to return
    To hold me in his arms
    Not caring about how I look

    I wait and wait…
    But there seems no return
    I cry to God; “why do u do this to me?”
    From the far end I hear an answer “cause u ain;t pretty enough”

    I look up and there my man stands
    Holding an other beautified puppet in his arms
    They smirk at me
    And then walk away
    My heart shattered into pieces
    That were never to be glued together again!

    comments highly welcomed :)
  2. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    so immaculately expressed frame of mind that the words literally reverberated my head with lively reflections of the actual event of agony..Needless to say something which happens one in a hundres times while i read a poem

  3. zicky5608

    zicky5608 Power Shortage

    Is a song better than a pome? -.-

    Lol, you weren't sad, you were excited with sadness lol..

    nice work..reps
  4. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    I honestly liked the poem...but it is kinda negative,eventhough the girl is doing the right thing i.e being herself...Maybe she won't get the right guy now but she can be sure that the guy she gets will be THE GUY.
    The moral of the poem is suggesting us to be someone we're not in ordder to get what we want or atleast thats what I figured it means...

    In brief:
    Loved the poem,didn't like the moral/conclusion.
    Reps for an excellent depiction of a sad girl's mind.
  5. #iR@


    @ vini.... wow! thx gurl... ur comments made ma day! :) thx a LOT for the appriciation!

    @ zicky... thx man... well i was sad and not excited... guess u didn;t xactly understand the whole feelin... thx though cause the way u understood it made perfect sense... :)

    @ i am not neo... thx man... ur comments have just given this poem a completelky differnt feel to it! thx a lot for reading... well dat gurl has to be me in a way... and the fact that i wouldn't get the one i deserve made me sad for a moment! *smiles* thx for reading man...
    nimisha likes this.
  6. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Well then keep being you and you'll get mr.right instead of mr.right now.
    Will give you reps later 'coz I had just given them to you for "Power of Knowledge."
    vini likes this.
  7. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    i think i know what/ how exactly u must hv felt...all i can say is tht there is a light at the end of the long dark tunnel...nothng is forever...evn this helpless feeling...this too shall pass....

  8. #iR@


    @ garima... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.... thx sweety! :) *hugs*
  9. himika9

    himika9 !!!WANNA B ROCKSTAR!!!

  10. #iR@


    @ himika... thx a lot yaar! ur reps made me feel better! hope u feeling better too! *smiles*
  11. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    thats an excellent work there hira.. reps added.
  12. #iR@


    @ nimisha... thx gurl! haven;t seen u around here since a long time! always appreciate ur comments! :nw:

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