...:::Guitar Jokes:::...

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by rizaaj, Dec 10, 2004.

  1. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    Hey Buddies,

    Throw in your guitar Jokes right here....
    Heres one from my side


    A guitarist dies and is quite pleased to find that he ends up standing before the pearly gates of Guitar Heaven. St. Peter shows him in, and gives him a guided tour.

    "This is Stevie Ray's room here..." says Peter, and the guitarist is saying "Wow! Stevie Ray!"
    "And this is Jimi's room..." and the guitarist is totally over the moon.

    Finally Peter shows the guitarist to his own room. Before Peter leaves, he says to him, "I have to ask. Is Yngwie here?" Peter shakes his head sadly and says "I'm afraid he went... the "other" way..."

    The guitarist is disappointed but goes to his room and tries to get some sleep. He is woken up in the middle of the night by someone playing a really fast harmonic minor lick - and it sounds just like Yngwie. He presses his ear to the wall, and listens more closely. Someone in the next room is playing really fast neo-classical shreds through what sounds very much like a vintage Strat. The guitarist is confused as it sounds so much like Yngwie. The next day he tells Peter that he is almost certain that Yngwie's in the next room.

    Peter pulls him to one side, and whispers into his ear, "Shhh.... don't tell anyone. That's God. He thinks he's Yngwie Malmsteen"
  2. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    Please do Post your jokes
  3. jayswami

    jayswami Blue J

    Here are some guitarist jokes from us pianists point for view :)

    Q:How many bass guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A:none; the piano player can do that with his left hand :p:

    Q:How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A:Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

    Q: How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
    A: Give him some sheet music.

    Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None--they just steal somebody else's light.

    <duck and run>
  4. DesiPride143

    DesiPride143 BEHAVE!

    lame..............................(jk)...good1, keep up the good work
  5. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    Acoustic Guitarist

    An acoustic guitarist is walking on the beach when he accidentally kicks a bottle. The cork falls off and out pops a genie.
    "Thank you, oh Master for releasing me from my prison of the last 300 years" the genie exclaims, grateful to the acoustic guitarist. "And because of your kindness" the genie continues, "I will grant you three wishes - but I must caution you that whatever you ask for, every electric guitarist in the world will receive double" explains the genie.

    "Not a problem" says the acoustic guitarist.

    "Very well then, what shall your first wish be, my Master?"

    "$10 million in small bills" says the acoustic guitarist unhesitatingly.

    "Good choice, Master" and poof! Right there on the beach are piles and piles of $10s and $20s. And of course every electric guitarist in the world now has $20 million in their account.

    "And your next wish, Master?"

    "A brand new Taylor PS12C Presentation Series Guitar and presto! Right there on the beach is the most beautifully inlayed and superb sounding acoustic guitar he'd ever seen. And of course every electric guitarist now has two of these guitars in their living rooms, knowing of course that they aren't going to know what to do with one, much less two.

    "You've made excellent choices thus far, Master. What is your final wish?"

    The acoustic guitarist thinks for a minute, rubs his chin, squints at the bright sky, and says, "You know, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
  6. apratim.mitra

    apratim.mitra You can call me apro

    LOLZZZ ... good one that ... :)

  7. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    LOL, good one man:)
  8. jayanth

    jayanth &lt;.: : Call Quits : :.&gt;

    Cool Stuff..
  9. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    Finger Style Guitarist

    Finger Style Guitarist​

    A young, single woman is feeling very ill and has an extensive series of tests done by her doctor. After weeks of tests and more tests, the doctor calls her in. He tells her, I have to be frank with you the test results are not good. You have an incurable disease, and it is terminal. I would think you have no more than six months to live.
    Devastated, she sobbingly asks the doctor, is there anything I can do?
    The doctor says, well, if I were you I would run out and marry a Fingerstyle Guitarist ASAP.
    She asks, How will that help my illness?

    The doctor says, "Oh it won't help your illness;
    but it will make that six months seem like an ;) eternity!"

    By Tom Young
  10. tejas

    tejas ..........

    LOL....great one.
  11. apratim.mitra

    apratim.mitra You can call me apro

    cant stop laughing ...... LOLZZZZZZZZZ :)
  12. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    nice to hear u all ppl liked it

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