FUNNY THREAD : i love george bush because...

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by jamhead, Apr 28, 2005.

  1. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    1) he is a red neck, and a texan cowboy

    2) Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Aug. 5, 2004

    3) he keeps the flag of stupid comments flying high now that siddhu and his siddhuisms are no more doing the rounds.


    4) ?
     
  2. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    4) Bush, Einstein and Picasso at the Pearly Gates

    Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can
    you prove who you really are?"

    Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"

    Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

    Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"

    The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

    Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"

    Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

    Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

    Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"

    Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove
    yours?"

    George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

    Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."
     
  3. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    5) Bush and Powell Plan World War III
    Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"

    The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

    So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

    Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

    The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

    Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Iraqis and one bicycle repairman."

    The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

    Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Iraqis!"
     
  4. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    6) This following poem is composed entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush.

    Make the Pie Higher

    I think we all agree, the past is over.
    This is still a dangerous world.
    It's a world of madmen
    And uncertainty
    And potential mental losses.

    Rarely is the question asked
    Is our children learning? :)
    Will the highways of the internet
    Become more few?
    How many hands have I shaked?

    They misunderestimate me.
    I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
    I know that the human being and the fish
    Can coexist.

    Families is where our nation finds hope
    Where our wings take dream.
    Put food on your family!
    Knock down the tollbooth!
    Vulcanize society!
    Make the pie higher!
    Make the pie higher!
     
  5. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    7) George W. Bush Anagrams

    He grew bogus
    Bush ego grew
    Where bugs go
    Whose bugger?
    "W": he bugs Gore
    e.g. bug whores?
    Ugh! Sewer bog!
    Bugger, who's 'e?
    Ogre hugs web
     
  6. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    8) Other related anagrams



    President George "Dubya" Bush:

    Ego upset by greed and hubris



    USA President George Bush:


    Ass...one stupid bugger here!
    Huge, depressing saboteur
     
  7. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    for lord neo.... note the liberal (no puns) use of the suffix "eth"

    9) Bush's Psalm

    "Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want. He leadeth me beside the still factories, He maketh me to lie down on park benches, He restoreth my doubts about the Republican party, He guideth me onto the paths of unemployment for the party's sake. I do fear the evildoers, for thou talkst about them constantly. Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy deficit spending They do discomfort me. Thou anointeth me with never-ending debt, And my savings and assets shall soon be gone. Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me, And my jobless children shall dwell in my basement forever."
     
  8. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    10) Plastic Surgery Miracles

    Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

    One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

    One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."

    The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."
     
  9. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    11) Bush's Brain Scan

    George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: "Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side."

    Bush interrupted, "Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?"

    The doctor replied, "That's true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn't anything right, while on the right side there isn't anything left."
     
  10. Taifi

    Taifi New Member

    lolzz. rock on jammy boyy........i liked the ww3 one
     
  11. BIG_EVIL

    BIG_EVIL Guitaring Machine

    v nice jam head...il think of some
     
  12. hotobhaga

    hotobhaga GraMMaR GoD :p:

    12) bcoz... the smartest president took the school boy's beg...:p:

    A plane is about to crash. there r 5 passengers on board, but there are only 4 para****es.

    The 1st passenger says: "I am Ronaldo, the best football player in the world. The football world needs me, and I cannot die on my fans."

    He grabs the first para****e and jumps out of the plane.


    The second passenger, Hillary Clinton, says: “I am the wife of the former president of the United States; I am the senator of New York and I have a good chance of being president of the United States in the future.“

    She grabs a para****e and jumps off the plane.*


    The third passenger, George W. Bush, says: “I am the president of the United States of America. I have huge responsibilities in the world. Besides, I am the smartest president in the history of my country and can‘t shun the responsibility to my people by dying.“

    He grabs a pack and jumps off the plane.


    The fourth passenger, the Pope, says to the fifth passenger, a young school boy: "I am old. I have lived my life as a good person as a priest should and so I shall leave the last para****e to you; you have the rest of your life ahead of you."


    To this the little boy says: “Don‘t fret old man... There is a para****e for each of us! The smartest president of America took my schoolbag....."
     
  13. rocking_devil

    rocking_devil Banned

    i love g bush be coz he is a never mind unlike the other masterminds.
    i love george bush because the american female race insist on having secs with him.
    i love g bush be caoz he s gotta a lotta bush around his dicks.

    there cud be hellata reasons jamhead.but all of them rule!
     
  14. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    your reason # 3 dont rule at all.

    try this instead...



    Bush v. Gore

    In 2000, the two major party presidential candidates agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment.

    However, they disagreed on the details...

    The Republican candidate, George W Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much *** and frontal nudity.
    In other words, Bush says there is too much gore, and Gore says there is too much bush
     
  15. 6string_addict

    6string_addict * Addicted Guitarist * <img src="http://www.indian

    :boff: :boff: :boff:

    :RollLol: :RollLol: :RollLol: :RollLol: :RollLol: :RollLol:
     
  16. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

    16) Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don't attack each other. Free nations don't develop weapons of mass destruction.

    ~ W
     
  17. 6string_addict

    6string_addict * Addicted Guitarist * <img src="http://www.indian

    :yawn: :yawn: :yawn: :yawn:


    :insane: :insane: :insane:
     
  18. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

  19. sunny88896

    sunny88896 New Member

    An excellent WORK i BUSH READS IT he might give his regisnation from being president OF THE USofA
     
  20. jamhead

    jamhead Unknown Legend

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