First Shot

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by faraz khan, May 21, 2006.

  1. faraz khan

    faraz khan Fkay'zzz .......GoNe MaD!

    my first shot guyzz !
    I wrote when my next exam was History but as the thoughts were coming I didnt stopped them and wrote them down!

    here are they:
    pyar mein dil apna nahin rehta,
    woh doosre ka hoker apna nahin rehta,

    pehli nazar mein deewaana unhone humein banaya tha,
    usi pehli nazar mein mein ne yeh dil haara tha,

    unke rang-o-roop ki toh misal hi nahin,
    jo arsh-e-zameen per hai woh iske misal nahin,

    woh chehra kuch yun benaqab karte hein,
    ke aadat se majboor dil sambhalay nahin sambhalta,

    unke labon ki muskurahat kuch yun rang phelaye,
    jese bin barish qaus-o-qasa ka manzar samnay ajaye,

    us ek jhalak ko kabhi hum bhool na payenge,
    dil pe hath rakhne per unhi ko yaad karte jayenge.

    Nimisha do chk this out, dont like it undeservingly and give me suggestions ! while the rest do read it comment it and rep it if like it !


    FKay'zzz :rule:
     
    madhuresh likes this.
  2. faraz khan

    faraz khan Fkay'zzz .......GoNe MaD!

    I know it might not be to your standard but do think about this one once this is myh first thread in this section !

    Comment!
     
  3. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    pehla attempt hai to ...thik hai but atlest grammer to thik rahoo miyaan..lo reps
     
  4. faraz khan

    faraz khan Fkay'zzz .......GoNe MaD!

    thanx madhuresh that was what i really posted this for !
    ;) hanx alot!
     
  5. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&*$@*^$

    considering its the first attempt, its good enuf

    keep writing, u can do better :)
     

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