Hey.. how is this.. i thing the first stanza is strong but i am not sure abt the others .... Ek shaam ho bheegi see… Aur yaad teri aaye.. Boondoon ki rimjhim ho… Aakash sunehra ho… Dil khush to ho lekin… Koi dukh bhi gehra ho.. Main geele panno par.. Bheege se lafzon mein… Koi geet likhoon jisse.. Teri khushboo see aae… Ek shaam ho bheegi see… Aur yaad teri aaye.. Main khirkee se lagkar.. Tujhe boondon mein dhundoon.. udaas ho,khirkee se hat.. uthne ko chal doon Tabhi ek boond kahin se.. Mujhko chhoo jaae Ek shaam ho bheegi see… Aur yaad teri aaye.. Charon or andhera .. Chaata jaata ho.. Paani-paani eenton pe .. Chhap-chhap kar.. koi Gaata jaata ho.. Tabhi saavan se lipatne ko.. Purvaee chalee aae.. Ek shaam ho bheegi see… Aur yaad teri aaye..
wah .. very involving ... although i feel you could have crafted some story in it .. still i liked it the flow the words the pictures this creates in my head Keep posting
