Disturbed Look, look at your creation Do you see the monster you've made? Once a naive child ecstatic and carefree Lost in a world of euphoric delusion Corruption was unknown and selfishness was unpercievable Vengeance was foolish and hatred was not an option Now look Here i stand with an insuppresible thirst Quenched only by the screams of the dying And the blood of the dead. All i wanted was love to cherish All i wanted was affection to treasure And all i wanted was care to feel worthy Instead I was met with the unsurmountable barrier That was you. Mocking my efforts at compassion Pushing me towards my humane extinction All under the mask of making me a man Fit for living in this world. Did your man meet your expectations? Wild matted hair, overwhelming sadness in my eyes, Lost in this abyss of hopelessness I decided to fight against my helplessness Knowing only one way, the way you gave unto me Feed off pain and dine on misery Eat on souls and thrive What you taught me is this and what i did was thus Knife in hand, hatred in my mind and fury in my eyes i spotted my first victim and made her writhe The dancing blade in my hand weaving through Her seemingly ethereal body Eliciting the cries that made me shiver with happiness In anticipation of the next one This is what you made me That was to be my last attempt at wholeness I was captured and confined Deemed a mentally ill human being Tossed into depraving captivity All while you watched In seeming nonchalance Why did you think i deserved this? With no respite for my anger No calming screams to help me sleep The hell within me threatens To engulf me and burn me into A handful of living ashes Why dont you do anything? You raised me to up to be what i will be Your countenance is what led my life here There is nothing to live for anymore Look at what you did to me You left me disturbed You still leave me disturbed...... mmm?
Reminds me of one of my poems (Inner Mental Dirge), but i like this one more... No, wait, I LOVE this one :grin:
u r very good at expressing ur thoughts wit all those heavy words.. n the surprise is... they create a wonderful effect too.. or most of the poetries..r lost in the use of thesaurus..keep up good work..
@alpha, lol dude, my mind's a bad place man...... @ankur, thank you bro, i tried to keep this poem as simple as i could @slash, lol...the day i write about dan donegan is the day i lose my marbles, thank you bro @cryptu, thank you sweety @nimisha, this was my most simple poem ever, lol, thanks a lot for reading @ir, thank you darling, your feedback always makes my day.
you din use the thesaurus this time..... i was hoping ur poem would give me some mental exercise...: neways,i liked it very much...i love the way u write dark stuff...
lol, all in the effort of making it simple bro and yeah i recognize my limitation of writing only dark stuff..oh well, i'll take it up like a fanatic and write about every single dark theme that i can center my mind around.
i wonder if i should quit thinking altogether... anwys ..i'll ask you the questions later and i like this one.. lately i'm loving dark stuff donno why..
^Hehe, alright sister darling :grin: Whenever, i'm glad you liked it @fat_kax, your reason for editing what?
"All i wanted was love to cherish All i wanted was affection to treasure And all i wanted was care to feel worthy Instead I was met with the unsurmountable barrier That was you. Mocking my efforts at compassion Pushing me towards my humane extinction All under the mask of making me a man Fit for living in this world." the best lines in the poem! i read it....and i fully understood it!:banana: itz awesome!!!....keep it up!!!! reps for ya!:beer:
good work...u write dark stuff brilliantly. why dnt u try on some lighter stuff and see if u can prouce same kind of imagery.
^Ahh, thanks a lot bro, i appreciate it. I tried writing lighter stuff...but by the sound of feedback, it wasnt really great, so i sort of gave up on it...
Not in a poetry mode, so dont ask me to read it now. (now, that i've lost 95% of the interest in poetry and lyrics, and that includes non/anti emo stuff )
& u left me thnking……bout the word I shud choose to describe wat I feel for the poem….awesome or amazing….nah….i thnk this wud explain better :nw: just keep writing…….:beer: