Disturbed

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by d_ist_urb_ed, Mar 31, 2006.

  1. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    Disturbed

    Look, look at your creation
    Do you see the monster you've made?
    Once a naive child
    ecstatic and carefree
    Lost in a world of euphoric delusion
    Corruption was unknown and selfishness was unpercievable
    Vengeance was foolish and hatred was not an option
    Now look
    Here i stand with an insuppresible thirst
    Quenched only by the screams of the dying
    And the blood of the dead.

    All i wanted was love to cherish
    All i wanted was affection to treasure
    And all i wanted was care to feel worthy
    Instead
    I was met with the unsurmountable barrier
    That was you.
    Mocking my efforts at compassion
    Pushing me towards my humane extinction
    All under the mask of making me a man
    Fit for living in this world.

    Did your man meet your expectations?
    Wild matted hair, overwhelming sadness in my eyes,
    Lost in this abyss of hopelessness
    I decided to fight against my helplessness
    Knowing only one way, the way you gave unto me
    Feed off pain and dine on misery
    Eat on souls and thrive
    What you taught me is this and what i did was thus

    Knife in hand, hatred in my mind
    and fury in my eyes
    i spotted my first victim and made her writhe
    The dancing blade in my hand weaving through
    Her seemingly ethereal body
    Eliciting the cries that made me shiver with happiness
    In anticipation of the next one
    This is what you made me

    That was to be my last attempt at wholeness
    I was captured and confined
    Deemed a mentally ill human being
    Tossed into depraving captivity
    All while you watched
    In seeming nonchalance
    Why did you think i deserved this?

    With no respite for my anger
    No calming screams to help me sleep
    The hell within me threatens
    To engulf me and burn me into
    A handful of living ashes
    Why dont you do anything?

    You raised me to up to be what i will be
    Your countenance is what led my life here
    There is nothing to live for anymore
    Look at what you did to me
    You left me disturbed
    You still leave me disturbed......

    mmm?
     
    uj_6string and fat_kax like this.
  2. alpha1

    alpha1 I BLUES!

    :shock:
    Whats happ to you man?
     
  3. Ankur_Scorpio

    Ankur_Scorpio New Member

    Hey,

    This is a really good one!

    Understood it and liked it!!

    Keep churning more!
     
  4. slash_i_m

    slash_i_m Laid to Rest

    Hey nice one.thot it'd be sumthing about Dan Donegan :nw:
     
  5. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    Reminds me of one of my poems (Inner Mental Dirge), but i like this one more...

    No, wait, I LOVE this one :grin:
     
  6. nimisha

    nimisha .:Forum Leader:.

    u r very good at expressing ur thoughts wit all those heavy words..
    n the surprise is... they create a wonderful effect too..
    or most of the poetries..r lost in the use of thesaurus..keep up good work..
     
  7. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    SUPERB! AMAZING! GREAT! :nw:
     
  8. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    @alpha, lol dude, my mind's a bad place man......
    @ankur, thank you bro, i tried to keep this poem as simple as i could
    @slash, lol...the day i write about dan donegan is the day i lose my marbles, thank you bro
    @cryptu, thank you sweety
    @nimisha, this was my most simple poem ever, lol, thanks a lot for reading
    @ir, thank you darling, your feedback always makes my day.
     
  9. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    you din use the thesaurus this time.....
    i was hoping ur poem would give me some mental exercise...:p:
    neways,i liked it very much...i love the way u write dark stuff...
     
  10. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    lol, all in the effort of making it simple bro and yeah i recognize my limitation of writing only dark stuff..oh well, i'll take it up like a fanatic and write about every single dark theme that i can center my mind around.
     
  11. fat_kax

    fat_kax Kickin Ass Since 1989 !

    nice...:GivinUReps: even tho didnt grasp it much....
     
  12. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    i wonder if i should quit thinking altogether...
    anwys ..i'll ask you the questions later

    and
    i like this one..
    lately i'm loving dark stuff donno why..:)
     
  13. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Hehe, alright sister darling :grin: Whenever, i'm glad you liked it
    @fat_kax, your reason for editing what?
     
  14. uj_6string

    uj_6string Nickelodean Addict :D

    "All i wanted was love to cherish
    All i wanted was affection to treasure
    And all i wanted was care to feel worthy
    Instead
    I was met with the unsurmountable barrier
    That was you.
    Mocking my efforts at compassion
    Pushing me towards my humane extinction
    All under the mask of making me a man
    Fit for living in this world."

    the best lines in the poem!
    i read it....and i fully understood it!:banana:
    itz awesome!!!....keep it up!!!!
    reps for ya!:beer:
     
  15. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^I'm very glad dude, thanks a lot.
     
  16. walk_alone

    walk_alone **~~| An Atheist |~~**

    good work...u write dark stuff brilliantly.
    why dnt u try on some lighter stuff and see if u can prouce same kind of imagery.
     
  17. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Ahh, thanks a lot bro, i appreciate it. I tried writing lighter stuff...but by the sound of feedback, it wasnt really great, so i sort of gave up on it...
     
  18. shsnawada

    shsnawada Cyborgs & Pasta

    Not in a poetry mode, so dont ask me to read it now. (now, that i've lost 95% of the interest in poetry and lyrics, and that includes non/anti emo stuff :( )
     
  19. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Rrrarrghh, alright :grin:
     
  20. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    & u left me thnking……bout the word I shud choose to describe wat I feel for the poem….awesome or amazing….nah….i thnk this wud explain better :nw:

    just keep writing…….:beer:
     

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