Bathrooms A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Motel 6. The average number of items in a woman's bathroom is 328. The average man would not be able to identify most of them. Arguments Women always have the last word in an argument. Anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument. Cats Women love cats. Men may say they love cats, but when women are not looking, will men kick cats. Future A woman worries about the future -- until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future -- until he gets a wife. Success A successful man is one who makes more money than can be spent by his wife. A successful woman is one who can find that a man. Marriage A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. Dressing Up A woman will dress up when she goes shopping, empties the garbage, answers the phone, waters the plants, gets the mail and reads a book. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. Natural Men wake up looking as good as when they went to bed. Women will somehow deteriorate during the night. Children A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, secret hopes and dreams, favorite foods, fears and dental appointments. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. Thought for the Day Married men should forget their mistakes. There is no need for two people to remember the same thing.