Looking into her deep blue eyes and expressing the deep adorement of her presence in my life…. Vindicating my true love and promise for being truthful Till eternity…i.wrote our name on the sand…. To show the bliss we share… The affection through which we care…. that makes us smile …. I hugged her deeply in my arms… Watching her eyes getting closed in immense satisfaction In my companionship..and radiancy of being loved in return….. Deceptively I took out my dagger And stabbed her at the back holding her in my arms… Killing her instantly….. Watching the sunset And seeing the tides washing away the name that we wrote few minutes back….. I smiled…..on myself for paying the debt That was due long time ago… When some one I adore stabbed on my faith….. Losing my faith forever on human emotions…. I paid that debt which was due on my past ….. By sacrificing now……my present Wailing on her lifeless body...for a second Making my face muscles strong…. I walked on the blood stained pathway puffing the cigarette... Winning the battle that I lost …… feeling myself completely debt free of emotional trauma from the past...
Hmmmm....Iam trying to figure out the prosody, since its a bit haphazard. But I can certainly make out the "trauma" of deceit. Good Work Bro.
the main protagonist has faced deception in the previous relationship..there he could not give justice to the person for giving the teary nights...tit for tat theory the remorse was playing again in his mind ..this time he wants to pay the debt of tit for tat of previous relationship by killing present one...that was missed the murderous plot.... nothing happened....why this question.....:
good poem ....nice flow of thoughts till the end... BUT i dont like this BAdala kinda feeling....We all r essentially Humans and Visa versa.... Ho ke majbuur munhe uss ne bulaya ho ga zaher dava jaan ke bhuule se pilaya ho ga !
ask those the kind of feeling who are hurt in emotions like the protagonist......what type of song they think..... thanks for reading.....once again...
waht im saying is my kinda thinking is more logical....me not completly sure.. par hazaar sach mere uss jhooth ki barabari kar nahi sakte jo mere dil ko humesha kush kush rakhta hai u can call me a dreamer but ye dream bhi to kisi acchi cheej ki hi raah takta hai ....kide manta
there are two things..logical thinking and confused thinking..... noone can convince anyone unless the person likes to be convinced ... for example... jo soya hua hai usko jagana bahut aashaan hota hai,par jo soye hue ka naatak kar raha ho ushe jagana bahut mushkil hai..... the protagonist cud not come out of the hate when he was cheated....thats why he could not be able to think out the mental block of hate....even being in love.... u have your opinion and you like that..that more important.... keep reading...... rohit
LOL..i know what literally happened in the poem..but i mean wht made him write such a uncomfortable scene. Him suddenly jumping from a possible romantic-bollywood scene to a murderous crime..i dont know. it really didnt seem to flow smoothly.. But it was unique..and thats what counts :grin:
thanks for the compliments ....and please dont call me as rohit ji....... keep reading and writing.......
its not fair........:aggre: boss cannot find any thing to comment.....i cannot be so perfect i guess :think:
boss dont like to spam.. so............................ *end of discussion* (there is thing called pm in igt.. use it..)
boss like to escape the point by saying spam........ boss will say enough..and close or delete the thread..... hitler type.....