I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight that touched me with her silence few days back glanced at me from the windows broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide The world looks like you, as if you were here since the light @horsesmouth: i can't get the last line so i m continuing after the ninth I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight that touched me with her silence few days back glanced at me from the windows broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide i miss your touch i miss your kiss i miss the feeling they have in the bliss this smell of the rain has made me feel you are somewhere nearby behind a veil.... carry on ...
hey now its catching up ...this is good pratham did a mast job ... *@ Rikki ... she is just haveing fun bro* Im a dammmmmmmm serious person ( very very intelligent and beautiful and all adjectives) have not even smiled from 300 years ..zeezzzz
pretty good pratham.... we may have to edit few words here and there in the poem to make it flow better... but that is for later with agreement of all.
Iam sure you are very intelligent, beautiful, and everything that you desire to be. But you should smile, atleast once in my lifetime ... lol
I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight that touched me with the silence till few days back glanced at me from the windows broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide I missed your touch and missed your kiss I missed the feelings they have in the bliss this smell of the rain has made me feel you are somewhere nearby behind a veil
I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight that touched me with the silence till few days back glanced at me from the windows broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide I missed your touch and missed your kiss I missed the feelings missed the bliss this smell of the rain has made me feel you are somewhere near behind a veil Our love is a thirsty emptyness some that you had, some that i shared we never knew how to expresss it we never treid we never cared.. Darlings and dandies can i end it with last lines...or u all want to continue...
Its very nice... i think its gettin to a close now...n I'm poor at endings, let monnie do the job, she's good at it
thanx "monica", "walk_alone" i have tried to end it simply .. corrections will be heartly appreciated I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight that touched me with the silence till few days back glanced at me from the windows broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide I missed your touch and missed your kiss I missed the feelings they have in the bliss this smell of the rain has made me feel you are somewhere near behind a veil Our love is a thirsty emptiness some that you had, some that i shared we never knew how to express it we never tried we never cared.. i wasted my life , made a million mistakes i crushed your heart and left you there but now i m gonna do watever it takes to give you happiness and love of your share your my life and i won't let you go and i will be there with you through every bend i m telling the truth and please let me show my love for you is never ever gonna end should we end it with"end" guys an gals???
pratham, ur lines r good, bt the last 2 paras dont connect to it at the core... needs some amends, as in figures of speech etc..
Did some editing and re-phrasing, please let me know if it is ok or should we re-do. I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight touched me with the silence till few days back and glanced at me through the window from its broken glass Now its the dew of the mild surprise colours of the rainbow playing with my eyes A breath of the air that gushed by your side and the warming sun between the shadows hide missed every touch and missed every kiss missed the feelings they have in the bliss this smell of the rain has made me feel you are somewhere near, maybe behind a veil Our love is a thirsty emptiness some that you have, some that I share we never knew how to express it never did we try it, nor did we care depleted my life , made some mistakes repent I must, whatever it takes come back once, those droplet from sky fill my palms, like a cup of life I smell of rain, as if it was here last night or maybe it was you sprinkling your love in the moonlight
i will stick to the earlier version where i stopped... these corrctions r making the entire thing like a mouth feed ...this is not how i like a peotry to be ..."the fun is of mutual discover" ...again i read it and find it not worth right now...