~By the Riverside…~

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by BubblyMartini, Apr 29, 2006.


The Vow is to....

  1. Forget Her and Lead a New Life

  2. Bring Her back and Start A New Life

  3. *Dont like the Ending*

    0 vote(s)
  1. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    ~By the Riverside…~

    Today the clock ticks backwards
    Thinking of her beaming with a crimson tide
    He smiled an unframed way
    Watching the lines on his palm go criss cross
    He had covered her hand like an oyster one day
    Turning round a moment passed him by
    Life changed in a blink
    Right there sitting on the brink
    The water clear had faked a facade blur
    The coolness eased his nerves
    Right there she was sitting by him that day
    Undoubtedly calm and smiling away
    Tulips spoke to each other a secret sweet
    Surrendering itself time had stopped
    Benumbed not anymore,
    She forgot her beliefs abjured
    But moments in phase left them dazed
    Unduly insane were those
    Who nothing lasts forever said
    Cause forever was a promise he kept
    Unkempt were his memories of her being dear
    It all seemed like yesterday
    Rainbows werent all that grey
    Bleakly blessed tomorrow
    Unfurled the yesterday.
    Bereft of her company now
    He made a vow..


    i'm adding a poll with this poem
    the ending is confusing to some
    "the vow" could be getting the girl back
    or forgetting her and leading a new life

    do gimme your views on the poem
    and your view on the ending of the poem
    if you dont like it dont ignore the thread..
    leave your comments
    i'd appreciate honesty..

    Thanks for reading
    Garima and madhuresh like this.
  2. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    for the poll "never leave" ur things
    and for the poem this is really good i wuld say sab se acchi.........reps added....aisa likha karo ...real..truth pure...

    Vow should be getting ur thing back.........if i like some thing i take it home...no matter waht !
  3. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    @bubbly please try to use different fonts and tinch to some color in your poems...Such long long text with so small text is hard to read...or my eyes are hurting me :(
  4. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    err........i changed the color and put it in bold
    hope thats fine :eek::
  5. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    soothing color..much better...
  6. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    woohoo....awesome :nw:
    very nice!
    vow is to Bring Her back and Start A New Life? :think:
  7. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    poll gir u forgot it !
  8. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    ^ ....ok yes!
  9. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    bubbly ji app ka vote ?
    hey ppl i voted for the second option...vahi hai right choice baby
  10. fat_kax

    fat_kax Kickin Ass Since 1989 !

    deep stuff...nice i think...dear...:p:
  11. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    um ...amit?...comments on the poem? :eek::

    Thanks Vini.. :)

    @Fat_Kax....thanks Dude! :)

    @Manu- i prefer to post my views last..
    its good not to let the poet/poetess's affect one's view..

    and Please dont add "Ji" to my name...:shock:
  12. Amanush...

    Amanush... Tanha Rahi...!

    Nice...Martina !

    I always opt for a happy ending...!

    Do keep sharing your thoughts...


  13. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

  14. apurbajd

    apurbajd ~#$&amp;*$@*^$

    good! made me think a lot!

    regarding the poll, well like Amanush, i also like a happy ending ;-)
  15. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    Yipeee for the poll!
  16. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    Thanks Apu and Amanush:)
    a few more views and i'l be bit relieved.
  17. Petunia

    Petunia terminally dorky


    Whyyyyyyy???? *SOB* Whhhyyyy?
    Does it hafta be like that!!

    ...sniff i dont like the choices!!!!

    -forgetting her n starting a new life...sniff...thats harsh man...and not to mention fkcin hard!!
    -bringing her back and starting new life...thats a little too fantastical aint it? :confused:
    -dont like the ending?--nah...didnt even consider it. ;)

    awesome peice, bubbly...
    *still blubbering*
  18. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    they never are <3

    I dunno but the way I see it, it's a trick poll. The vow would be not forgetting her and leading a new life. I'm just saying this at first glance. I'll need some time with this to critique. Just know that I envy the way 2 girls on IGT write and you're one of them.
  19. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    After this point, I dozed off on my computer for about 20 mins and now I cant seem to continue...I'ma gonna get back to the rest.
  20. bjr

    bjr Lady of the Evening

    At this point of time, I also wish I knew enough about astrology to know if the criss cross of lines has a significant meaning to it.

    hah, this part left me hot and bothered really...my emotions could easily be expressed by yahoo smileys. I wonder if my imagination is a tad overactive though.

    Quite honestly, this would scare me if it meant what I thought it did. I'll wait for you to tell me about these eight lines that I've tried to make sense of in this post.

    Ah, damn...once I get into a train of thought, I find it difficult to get out of it and find signs pointing to it all around. I'll leave it at this right now but trust me, girl, you owe me an explanation.

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