' But I Stay Here...! '

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by Amanush..., Aug 12, 2007.

  1. Amanush...

    Amanush... Tanha Rahi...!

    Deeply disappointed by love
    I linger here, unmovable,
    Condemned to observe the void...!

    In the silence of a room
    Pain has taken control of my being
    And I feel the slow beat of my heart
    I would like to wail,
    to despair for this love by now lost,
    but I stay here, unmovable,
    to observe the void...!

    I seek for the cause of such a torment,
    but the thoughts break loose
    and on me casts down an endless silence.
    Hope has abandoned these ruins,
    but the soul,
    as one who doesn't want to see the truth,
    closes its eyes and continues to believe in you,
    My Cruel Love...!

    Embracing the ultimate desire
    of never to step back
    in this life of eternal suffering,
    I would like to escape far, far away,
    but I stay here, unmovable,
    to observe the void....!

    I don't feel like understanding anymore,
    And to listen to more lies,
    I don't feel anymore like waiting
    to love the nonexistent one,
    I would now like to restart,
    to hope in another love,
    but I stay here, unmovable
    to observe the void...!

    #iR@ and i'm_not_neo like this.
  2. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    Very well written! I loved it.

    A grammatical mistake I found:
    It should be 'doesn't', shouldn't it?

    Also, although this:
    isn't incorrect, I wish you'd rephrase it!
  3. Amanush...

    Amanush... Tanha Rahi...!

    Thanks, Angel...!

    Hope its better now...!


  4. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    I love it even more now : )
  5. vini

    vini Repeat Offender

    hmmmm...logged into igt after a long time..saw ur poem in new posts and clicked right away..hehe, a worthwhile visit, needless to say!

    nicely done, very thought provoking..such poems r ur forte afterall!..just when i thot that the ending would get brighter u again pushed it back into dark..loved that part the most..

    keep writing and keep posting!
  6. sohail288

    sohail288 New Member

    I liked the ending a lot, it was like an okay, oh nevermind just kidding type of dealys.
  7. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    A brilliant write all the way,really...your writing is expressive.I could feel what you were trying to say and the poem in itself made a lot of sense..rather than being just about a sad love story it is more about the war every heart broken person has to face after losing some1 and we indeed end up "observing the void".You've maintained the balance of hope and helplessness in every stanza..liked it a lot.Keep posting.
  8. madhuresh

    madhuresh madhuresh

    as usual ...!
  9. rocker_vish

    rocker_vish New Member

    awesome awesome thats all i wanna say
  10. ~Bish

    ~Bish The Illusionist

    Amanush.. u r not 'A'manush.. u hv lot of depth.. like ur every work man..
  11. #iR@


    wow! good poem man... :)
  12. #iR@


    wow! good poem man... :)
  13. #iR@


    reps... :)

Share This Page