booring animal's

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by monica_decosta, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. look what u done, this mess that you created
    even if some one returns, you will only be hated
    booring animal if not fear, respect someting
    throw the dumb eyes, object something
    its the flesh when chewed given them cramps
    till they are alive trapped and drenched
    simple pure joy may be some other kind
    when you watch them scream fears unwind
    open the cuts catch the nerves by knives
    the red liquid is a fluid drink and thrive
    the slow kill and its joy must not be berated
    look what u done, this mess that you created
    even if some one returns, you will only be hated..
     
  2. vikasparth

    vikasparth New Member

    the Zeal

    nice way of putting up thoughts i like the zeal behind these lines .... would be rocking to listen to them with a guitar on .......
     
  3. i did what i did .... why r u lotterying around, fooling with words...y dont u do some work and put some decent cloths to it
     
  4. detritus

    detritus New Member

    yay, finally, i like.
    but seriously, proof-read. you, not u.
     
  5. "yay, finally, i like." As if i was writing this for you my lord...fool go to the theacher and compalin...

    "but seriously, proof-read. you, not u"...i will write whatever i want ...u go and sleep with renin-martin and oxford learners....shut up from now
     
  6. detritus

    detritus New Member

    If you are posting it here, then yes, you are writing it for me. So quit PMS-ing.
    And its wren & martin. If you dont want people to talk about your shit, then keep it to yourself.
     
  7. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    @
    Its a cruel poem, really.....I pictured an animal being slaughtered, did you intend this meaning??
    n yea, one question, (no offence),
    are you a vegetarian?? or animal rights activist??
     
  8. i snapped a man here...hennibal-cannbal kind.... \....animal - devil.../.....

    and Detritus just shut ur booing crap to ur own dumb box..stay away from my things !
     
  9. detritus

    detritus New Member

    I'll do whatever the f uck i want, you can just f ucking deal with it.
    It's people like you who only look for praise and won't respond to even the most basic critique, that ruin the community.
     
  10. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    jeez...
    Maninder Singh Pandher
    hmmmm....
    it that gonna be eaten
    :p:p:p
    :p
    :p
     
  11. ^^ bad mood these days !!

    i cant learn spellings and grammer now


    ^ Nah ....its manu pandit
     
  12. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^
    v^v^v^v
    Don't listen to what others have to say everytime, you might not always be wrong or right.

    n who's manu pandit??your real name??!?Hannibal-inspired?
     
  13. detritus

    detritus New Member

    You cant read your poem once before posting? You cant spell 'you' or 'restaurant' correctly?

    I didn't realise correct spelling was a relative thing.
     
  14. ok will proof read from now on ...

    you is easy ...but resturant is difficult !!
     
  15. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    does'nt matter 'til I can read and understand, i mean spelling mistakes are alryt, only should be readable, n specially if they are done purposely....as in monica's case
     
  16. detritus

    detritus New Member

    It does matter! Anyone will tell you that stupid shit like writing bits in SMS english, messy spellings can easily break the reader out of the flow of the poem. And what sincerity is the poet showing if they can't even do that much?
     
  17. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    ^
    Yep, I seem to agree with you on that!
     

  18. ok ok...point taken ... but some times, when youreally dont knw the spellings then ?
    its not logical to think of spellings insted of thoughts !!
     
  19. horsesmouth

    horsesmouth Active Member

    you might wanna type the poem in Microsoft Word, it'll take care of that!....
    just remember to keep auto-correct on.
     
  20. ^i hate those reds and blueess....the r like trying to flirt ...notepad is no bad

    Else i alswys got a frnd....Detritus :p....*goes searchin detritus where r u*
     

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