Another Sunday

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by i'm_not_neo, Oct 26, 2006.

  1. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    I don't think its an appropriate title but hey,its the poem thats important (I hope).A short poem with quick rhymes,please suggest any changes or additions even,I feel its kinda short.

    Its another Sunday again
    I'm on my way again
    the same road I've been walking on
    Trying to get over her
    trying to move on.

    Yet,I remember her smile
    her body ever so fragile
    her benevolence, her kindness
    Each kiss, each caress

    Her anger,her fears
    Arguments with trickling tears
    the fights, the quarrels
    her tiny little rebels

    Atlast the most important
    Her promise to be together
    forever and ever
    Yet my unwilling feet
    tread on the same path
    For years so many
    I lost my faith in promises
    if there ever was any.

    With flowers in one hand
    Right here I stand
    Wishing to be on the other side
    just to be by her side.
    Knowing that this is all I can do,
    With flowers and a tear
    to her grave I say
    "Rest in peace,my dear."
    nils, jozko and Garima like this.
  2. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    nice one...
    dont kno whether it was intentional or not..but somehow i felt a kinda suspense...i thot that some1 might hv ditched the person in the poem...but later on the story turnd out to b different...which made it more interesting & beautiful to me....
    reps cuming ur way....:beer:
  3. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    Yeah I was planning to bring the twist at the end of the poem,making every1 fell that he's just another guy trying to get over some girl who ditched him and then make them change their opinion at the end suddenly.
    Thank you for the reps and realising the twist,I thought it was a bit predictable.
  4. jozko

    jozko Banned

    Interesting poem not_neo, reps. Too many "on death" poems here? :-SS
  5. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto


    Thanks for the reps jozko...I really wasn't expecting reps for this poem.
  6. jozko

    jozko Banned

    As i wrote i can't judge how good or bad it is. But i gave u reps as i liked it. People told me reps are when u approve somebodys posting. I liked it so approved. Funny thing is that i get reps for spamming. got two green dots :D

    I hope real poets here will also give you reps.
    keep it up not_neo, rgds
  7. jozko

    jozko Banned

    twist was interesting bro not_neo, ok bye
  8. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    thanx for the reps and its good to know that the "twist" was good...
  9. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    @nils...thank you for the reps.
  10. #iR@


    wow! u r a nice poet man... i like readin ur work! keep posting! :)
  11. i'm_not_neo

    i'm_not_neo el valor máximo absoluto

    always good to know some1 liked my poem...will definitely keep posting...

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