hello everyone the name is arpita...I'm new to these forums and was introduced to it by Babydoll...yahan aane pe pata chala ke meri nimi-di bhi yahin pe hain ....very happy to know that...anyway here's the first poem I would like to share with you,but it isnt the first sher I wrote AKS kabhi kabhi sheeshe mein dekhti hoon toh koi pyaari si ladki nazar aati HAI Par na jaane kyu mujhko wo kuch anjaani si nazar aati hai? haath lagaake apne hi aks ko, sochti hoon yeh main hoon ya koi aur HAI? agar sach mein yeh main hi hoon toh kyun yeh itni parayi nazar aati HAI? jo ankhein sheeshe mein se mujhe dekhti hain woh kyun mujhse juda lagti HAIN? jo aankhein sheeshe mein se mujhe takti hain woh kyun itne savaal poochhti HAIN? jo chehra sheeshe mein se jhhankta hai jaane woh chehra kiska HAI? jo chehra sheeshe mein se pukaarta hai woh mera hai ya kisi aur ka HAI? kya main wahi ladki hoon jo mujhe sheeshe mein nazar aati HAI? kya main bhi itni khoobsurat hoon jitna sundar mera aks HAI? mera hoke bhi mera na lage Jaane kyun aisa mera aks HAI? main kyun itni tooti huwi hoon? zindagi kab mujhpe berehm rahi HAI? kabhi kabhi sheeshe mein dekhti hoon toh koi pyaari si surat nazar aati HAI Par na jaane kyun mujhko woh kuch anjaani si nazar aati HAI? haath lagaake apne hi aks ko, sochti hoon yeh main hoon ya koi aur HAI? mera hoke bhi mera na lage jaane mera aks kyun aisa HAI? jaana pehchaana sa mere aks ka chehra hai phir bhi itna anjaana kyun mujhko lagta HAI? kabhi masum toh kabhi sayani si woh ek ladki hai anjaani si.... yeh main hoon ya mera aks hai? jaane meri kya pehchaan HAI? -arpita.... arpita ya arpita ka aks na jaane main kaun hoon ----COMMENTS PLZ------
again i'll say good attempt... but need lot improvement on expression.... next time try to keep it short....
thanx di....constructive criticism is exactly what I am looking for .... hum toh abhi beginner hain abhi toh there is a lot of room for improvement ...thanks again...I will keep ur advice in mind
