a story of broken heart

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by write2madhur, Jan 30, 2006.

  1. write2madhur

    write2madhur dowdiegeekgizmofreak

    Inever knew,
    One morning I will wake up
    and this Love will be gone
    Today is that day

    Today is my first day of freedom
    Freedom of repeatedly asking myself
    Why is she not calling back
    Why did she say, she will come but she didn’t

    All I feel is emptiness
    Sad memories of an unrequited Love
    There is no longing, no desires
    Only the memories of unfulfilled hopes

    I am not heart broken
    I am just waking up to this reality
    That it would have never worked
    It was doomed from beginning

    All I remember, are broken promises
    How many times she said i love you, but she didn’t love me
    How many times she said she cared,but she didn’t care
    How many times she said she wanted me, but she didn’t want me

    It is over now,
    Go girl, go on and find somebody else “ not to love”
    find some body else “not to want”
    Somebody else “not to care” about
    I had enough of not-loving, not-caring, not-wanting

    comment guys
    BubblyMartini likes this.
  2. #iR@


    good effort... but i am sure u can rite better :) just keep riting :beer:
  3. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    well frankly,its ok-ok...
    take the 2nd and 3rd para for instance...they contradict each other,..on one hand u say u have freedom now,and on the other hand u say that u are sad....what i mean to say is that with the feelin of freedom u are talking bout,..u get a feelin of anger n frustration,not sadness....n if u taklin bout sadness,u shoulldnt have talked bout the freedom thing...
    and the repetition of love-care-want thing is not carried out well....u know what i mean...just my little opinion...coz i too suck at writin break up poems:p:
  4. write2madhur

    write2madhur dowdiegeekgizmofreak

    thanks hardik but i have one point to say here.
    does fredom really mean happiness
    a child always want to be free free from studies free from scoldings free from any form of discipline so if a child runs away from his wards. DO you think he really will be happy.
    Freedom is not always happy
    here i mean freedom from her but not the attachments i had towards her maybe you will understand me
  5. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    dude, This is coming from the Wrong person..but dont think much..
    it doesnt help...

    poem's good reflects whats in your heart
    words sayng something more..
    something thats just for Her..

    Take care..
  6. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    ^Decent effort, can do better, in any case you're much better than me, i cant write worth crap anyway.
  7. prashant_soni14

    prashant_soni14 New Member

    fredom is some thing we all need but it's true that sometime excces of good thing hurt deep inside.
  8. amit82cse

    amit82cse Silent observeR

    nice effort...deep meaning...keep writing...
  9. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    I wont comment on anythng else but feelings...& that ws touching..

    Let her go & wander till the time she wud kno ur worth...
  10. write2madhur

    write2madhur dowdiegeekgizmofreak


    thanks garima ur advice is really good i will try to follow

    martini ur like always u have been (a darling)

    thanks amit

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