A DAY's JOURNEY!

Discussion in 'Poetry and Lyrics Forum' started by #iR@, Oct 16, 2005.

  1. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    hello everyone..... another poem....... DO COMMENT ON IT PPL! as i always say.... ALL SORTS OF REPLIES are welcomed!!!!!!!!!!!! so here goes....... u guys JUST BE HONEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A DAY’S JOURNEY!

    The sun emerges from the never-ending ocean,
    Spreading it’s rays throughout the landscape,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    The palm trees reaching for the sky,
    The children playing in the sand,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    The surfers playing with their lives,
    The waves growing stronger and stronger,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    The ship reaching the bay,
    Ending the day’s journey,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    The sun submerging in the ocean again,
    The burning (orangish) sky,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    Adding grimness in the air,
    As the darkness takes over,
    I see it all from my broken window…

    The shimmering moon ruling the nite,
    The shinning stars busy worshipping it,
    I see it all from my broken window,
    I see it all from my broken window!


    DON"T FORGET TO COMMENT even if u think it sucks!!!!!! :eek::
     
  2. BubblyMartini

    BubblyMartini !!!HAWM

    its good babe..
    you write well..
    even the title is apt..
     
  3. CrYpTiC_angel

    CrYpTiC_angel Rebelle!

    hey.. nice one.... keep writing!
     
  4. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ angel and bubbly........ THANKS>...... really appreciate ur opinions! :)
     
  5. jekyll

    jekyll Banned

    hmmm ...

    ahem ...

    mmmm ...
     
  6. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    ^???? :eek:: :eek:: :eek::
     
  7. the_wizard

    the_wizard Omega == God

    it sucks :phbbt:










    nah...its good...keep up the good work
    :beer:
     
  8. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ wizard....LOL.... thanks.....

    any more comments ppl?:)
     
  9. .:SpY_GaMe:.

    .:SpY_GaMe:. New Member

    nice really nice
     
  10. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ spy_game..... thanks a lot.........


    i want more comments............. :eek:: hehehe :p:
     
  11. rizaaj

    rizaaj Forum Leader

    jaani's too hungry for comments :p:

    nice one there.. keep writing...

    btw.. where is that broken window... lemme also see
     
  12. Garima

    Garima Born to rule <img src="images/smilies/rule.gif" bo

    Hey nice from u again...

    & Hira dont get confused over the feedback of a confused person...Lolz
     
  13. #iR@

    #iR@ GANDI BACHI RELOADED

    @ garima..... thanks yaar......

    @ rizaaj..... OFCOURSE everyone wants a FEEDBACK.!!!!! thanks anyway........

    any more comments?
     

Share This Page