50 ways to annoy a metal-head

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by cYpHeR, Sep 9, 2005.

  1. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    50 Ways To Annoy A Metalhead

    Written by Sacrilegium (beep[at]beep[dot]com)
    Visit his website @ www.stormclad.com

    1. Tell them every metal band worships the devil.

    2. Ask if all black metal bands are trying to copy KISS or just most of them.

    3. Hide their joint under their library card.

    4. Ask if they know of any other cool bands like Slipknot.

    5. If they're listening to metal, tell them it sounds like some mainstream band. Doesn't matter who.

    6. Say it's all a ripoff of Iron Butterfly anyway.

    7. Ask if they've given their souls to Jesus yet.

    8. Vaguely imply that you're gay and would like their company for the evening.

    9. Record over their Cannibal Corpse albums with other Cannibal Corpse albums and see if they ever notice the difference.
    10. Refuse to accept their fake I.D.

    11. Ask how much Dio got paid for his role as Stuart Little.

    12. Use the phrase "cookie monster vocals" and act like it's the funniest, most original thing you've ever come up with.

    13. If they're listening to metal, tell them "These guys don't have talent. Now , those guys have talent!"

    14. Say "What is vinyl?"

    15. Point out how stupid manowar is. If they agree, tell them the only thing more stupid is Black Sabbath with Dio.

    16. Tell them it all sounds the same.

    17. Admit that Cliff Burton was a dirty hippy who had already peaked musically.

    18. If they say they love 80s metal, ask them what ever happened to Poison.

    19. Tell them you like underground music too, like

    20. Point out that Tarja from Nightwish can't sing.

    21. Insist that Emperor videos would be better if they used a dance troupe.

    22. Ask if Mayhem is Marilyn Manson's band.

    23. Divert their CD shipments to the local Jewish community center.

    24. Write "God Loves You" on their Venom backpatch.

    25. Point out that just about every genre of music has an underground with bands who have integrity, so metal really isn't that unique.

    26. Post under their nickname on a power metal board and say Ray Alder shits all over John Arch.

    27. Take out the Iron Maiden disc and put in 50 Cent.

    28. Give them a spiky pop-punk haircut while they sleep.

    29. Pronounce "Celtic Frost" correctly.

    30. If they're over 25, say that people can still rock even if they have an unplanned child or two and drive a grocery getter. Then point and laugh.

    31. Tell them you're not hiring and to try the other Cinnabon down the street.

    32. Sit quietly and applaud politely at a metal show.

    33. Make them be sober for five whole seconds.

    34. Ask if Randy Rhoads was on the same flight as John Denver.

    35. Tell them Korn brought metal back to life in the 90s.

    36. Turn the bass way up on their stereo.

    37. Laugh at Slayer for stealing their name from the Buffy show.

    38. Call Doro fat.

    39. Call them on their horrible grammar and/or spelling.

    40. Remind them that metal is partially derived from the blues. Then accuse them of being wiggers.

    41. Use the phrase "balls in a vice" at least three times when talking about classic metal and/or power metal vocalists.

    42. If it's a guy with long hair, address him as if he were female. Don't correct yourself about it.

    43. Be impressed with how much RoadRunner Records has improved over the past ten years.

    44. Say you love Metallica's debut, The Black Album.

    45. Notice that Lemmy hasn't moved his left hand in 30 years of playing bass.

    46. Refer to metal as "that kill-your-father rape-your-mother stuff."

    47. Ask them if their favorite band is so good, how come nobody has ever heard of them.

    48. Pine for the good old days when Pour Some Sugar On Me was a big hit.

    49. Tell them you used to be a metalhead, but grew out of it when you started listening to more intellectual stuff like

    50. Post a list of "Ways To Annoy Metal Fans" knowing full well that so many of them internalize everything and can't take a joke.

    vini likes this.
  2. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    Ha ha. Great now get ready for the thrashing that the metal heads out there are gonna give you.
  3. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    nah...even im a metal-head....dis was basically to prove....WE DO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR :p:
  4. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    Great so you guys do crack a smile once in a while. Ha Ha.......
  5. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    well then u shud chk out our posts (read as spams)....we usually make ppl crack all da time ;)
  6. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    Chill i was just kidding
  7. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    same here :p:
  8. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    Hey look the whole thread it's just the 2 of us chatting
  9. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    no mee also ...
    juss taht i was a mute spectator till now :grin:

    not any more ...
  10. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    we got another fello :rule:

    btw...nvr seen u post so much a single day....welcome to da COM
  11. dharmatma

    dharmatma Banned

    one way to annoy a metal head..

    tell them that st.anger is the best heavy metal album to date.
    u cant possibly not get a reaction.
  12. anshphenomenon

    anshphenomenon Rape me :boff:

    even ill join the party... :rock:
  13. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    I barely get time to sit and relax now a days. My whole day is consumed by playing the guitar and i also cant ignore my studies right. I'm really getting into blues now and i just cant stop playing.
    Last night i played( including practising like crazy) till my fingers started tingling right then i knew i had to stop.
  14. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    cypher i nearly took taht as fellatio ... u naughty thing ...

    did u tell him the perils of becoing a comrade of CoM?
  15. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    whoa...too much dedication dude....
  16. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned


    n that is the truth ... y should anyone get pissed off by that ... :annoyed: :phbbt:
  17. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    anyway if u do get pissed off -- find a toilet and piss there ... no need to soil anything else ...
  18. cYpHeR

    cYpHeR Banned

    another way to annoy a metalhead

    tell him Sepultura is black metal :p:
  19. sridhar11_2

    sridhar11_2 Instrumental guitarist

    I know i have to slow down or i'll burn out and i'll have no interest in guitar anymore.
    Well 'm sure that when my studies kick in it'll happen.
  20. ssslayer

    ssslayer Banned

    dont ... try .. that ... some ppl get really senti ...

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