4 management lessons

Discussion in 'The ChitChat Lounge' started by Hardik, Feb 6, 2005.

  1. Hardik

    Hardik .:.:.:BoRn TaLenT:.:.:.

    Lesson Number One

    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
    A small rabbit
    saw the crow, and asked Him, "Can I also sit like
    you and do
    nothing all day long?"

    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the Rabbit
    sat on the
    ground below the crow, and rested.

    All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the
    Rabbit and ate it.

    Management Lesson:

    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
    very, very
    high up.

    Lesson Number Two

    When the body was first made, all the parts wanted
    to be Boss.

    The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control
    the whole
    body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the
    brain about and
    get him to where he wants to go." The hands said,
    "We should be
    Boss because we do all the work and earn all the

    And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs
    and the eyes
    until finally the asshole spoke up.

    All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole
    being the Boss. So
    the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and
    refused to work.

    Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the
    hands clenched,
    the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to
    panic and the brain

    Eventually they all decided that asshole should be
    the Boss, so the
    motion was passed.

    All the other parts did all the work while the Boss
    just sat and
    passed out the s h i t!

    Management Lesson:

    You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole
    will do.

    Lesson Number Three

    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
    be able to get
    to the top of that tree, "sighed the turkey, "but I
    haven't got the
    energy."Well, why don't you nibble on some of my
    replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients."
    The turkey
    pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually
    gave him enough
    strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

    The next day, after eating some more dung, he
    reached the second
    branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was
    proudly perched at
    the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by
    a farmer, who
    shot the turkey out of the tree.

    Management Lesson:

    Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep
    you there.

    Lesson Number Four

    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
    was so cold; the
    bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

    While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped
    some dung on
    it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow
    dung, it began
    to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually
    thawing him out!
    He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to
    sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to
    Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird
    under the pile of
    cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

    Management Lessons:

    1) Not everyone who drops s h i t on you is your enemy.

    2) Not everyone who gets you out of **** is your
    3) And when you're in deep ****, keep your mouth
    :p: :p: :) ;)
  2. Asmodeus

    Asmodeus New Member

    Hmm.... Either IGT has created a time - warp portal or is it just me that something like this has already been done??? Nice management lessons tho... tho they've been posted be4, methinks

    Nice work
  3. d_ist_urb_ed

    d_ist_urb_ed Genuflect b*tches!

    The 1st, third and fourth lessons have been done before. The second one is new to us. Good job, i guess.
  4. Sanjay Mazumder

    Sanjay Mazumder ~..::MASTERMIND::..~

    @Hardik, Bob has already posted a few lessons before. Well, the 2nd one is good.

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