tufaan hai raahon mein kohraam hai raaho mein darr hai harsu .. sabb saanson mein prr chla ja rha hu mein kaam prr mujhko jaana zaroor hai .. dhanda krta hu mein lene ka nahi ..sirf dene ka hai kamai kuch zada hai nahi prr kaam prr mein jaata zaroor hu .. aandhio ko jhel-paar krr barfeele angaaro prr chalkarr kaanton prr uff bhi na krta hu kuch ho jaye mujhe kaam prr jaata zaroor hu.. zameer bechta hu mein .. surkh hothon prr kis laali ki tum baat krte ho vo laali meri kamai ka zaria hai pet nahi bhrta mein .. mann bhrta hu sirf.. zameer bechta hu mein .. dil mein khyal koi hai nahi .. aansu .. khushi se vaqaf nahi pathhar ka he hu mein shayad kabr dekhkr bhi roya na jaata hai ... shamshan prr bhi sirr jhukta na hai mera kharidaar boht se milte hain sabbka mann bhrta hu mein jeb meri firr bhi khaali rehti hai kaun hu mein .. kya hu mein astitv mera kuch hai nahi bss zameer bechta hu mein..
kaafi accha likha hai ... in fact bhuut accha likha hai wah last para ne puuri nazm ko kirdaar de diya, ye jaroor kisi real life kirdar se inspired hai ... Likhte rahiyega ... app bhuut accha likhte ho
shukria umm .. nahi hai vaise ye inspired..i don't have an idea what made me write this.. haha and thank you again
For sometime I was led to believe tht its meant to be about a flesh-trader! But its better.. And good lines, better vocabulary, and nice flowing rhythm. You've certainly gotten much much better..