Here's my attempt at writing a song. A little cheesy maybe, a little serendipity in office after reading the other threads in this forum. Suggestions welcome... At times I wonder if we'll ever see the light This tunnel of life just leads into the night There's no way to tell friends from foes I feel I'm the only in a world so cold My cup is getting heavier than I can hold How much deeper can I dig I'm at the core -- I despair, I fall down -- Can't get up off the ground -- Just laying down and writhing in pain -- -- I'm done with it all, can't go on -- A dead-end street I have walked too long -- And then you walk in like the first rain You're one of the kind I thought I'd keep afar All I had were memories and the 6-inch scars Picture of me had no room for you in the frame When the last thing on my mind is a talk You set me free, like the key to my mind's lock And then I arise alive to fight another day -- I reach out and you lend the arm -- You guide me, you're there to warn -- You're my madness that keeps me sane -- -- When I'm tired on my blistered feet -- I'm parched out and wilt in the heat -- You breathe new life like the first rain When all hope is gone The walls come crashing down When I feel all alone There is no comfort around -- I despair, I fall down -- Can't get up off the ground -- Just laying down and writhing in pain -- -- I'm done with it all, can't go on -- A dead-end street I have walked too long -- And then... -- -- I reach out and you lend the arm -- You guide me, you're there to warn -- You're my madness that keep me sane -- -- When I'm tired on my blistered feet -- I'm parched out and wilt in the heat -- You breathe new life like the first rain
@nandy0894 - I actually started out on it by trying to rephrase your poem from the thread titled "..." to make it lyrical. So thanks for that... @mymusicmyguitar - Thanks for the encouragement, I'll try for some more...
Carpe Diem Here's another one that I came up with today. Suggestions welcome, especially on improving the flow of ideas and change of wordings. He was born in a small town To parents of not much renown Seeking a life like everyone else around Went to his first rock show And oh well, what do you know The boy in him had a whole new world to go -- A heart of steel, an iron will -- A spirit that no force can kill -- Desire to be there, any price you pay -- A lust for gold, to do things untold -- No mind to wait and let it unfold -- Carpe diem - this is your today Years went by, the boy grew up His eyes still on the one big cup Night and day he toiled without a stop Deep down he knew was a step away From the dream he'd always wish and pray No comfort could ever lead him astray -- A heart of steel, an iron will -- A spirit that no force can kill -- Desire to be there, any price you pay -- A lust for gold, to do things untold -- No mind to wait and let it unfold -- Carpe diem - this is your today The day is come he's waited for You hear him now on the radio All those years are now just a shade Things are but few that still stayed -- A heart of steel, an iron will -- A spirit that no force can kill -- Desire to be there, any price you pay -- A lust for gold, to do things untold -- No mind to wait and let it unfold -- Carpe diem - you make tomorrow today
Somehow i cannot link the two lines. "Seeking a life like everyone else around Went to his first rock show" Also it seems like a sudden jump off the topic. May be u can add some more lines in between to give that proper flow towards music Something like.. "Seeking a life like everyone else around Tired of life and desire to do somethign bigger His heart sung songs which remained unheard the sound of music wud sway him away the rhythm would get him into another world Dont know what the feeling was whatever it was was out of this world" Sorry buddy but i havent written even one poem in my life. But i meant something like that..one more para in between he goin for a rock show I loved the chorus part..and overall its really awesome...
this one is great too..but make a second part of it.. i think..i mean...after he got all the fame...umm..try it..im sure u'll make it amazing...hoping to read it soon.
Thanks for the comments, trying to rework it but somehow that feels tougher than actually writing it the first time. The rhymes don't come together and timings of phrases are going off. Was looking at giving these a tune over the weekend, will post updates as soon as I have something...
closing his eyes ..thinking about all the achievements and glories ..he is now here .. sitting on his dream throne.. lighting a cigarette ...like he owns the world..with wet eyes he keeps a palm on his heart..which was once hard as a stone.. sitting on a chair..by the riverside gaping at anything..at everything..with wet eyes and now he realizes ..the time that has flown..the sun that rose..the years that have passed by .. everything is now moving so slowly..just about everything about which he had raised such a hue and cry people bow down to him..kiss his feet.. he is the one who anyone would die to meet.. he has fame just lying there unattended in his pockets.. he has everything.. he has the fuel to chase flying rockets but who does he celebrate his success with ? he drinks the most priced wine but the taste is still a myth he is known ..he is powerful and influential.. he has fame..but no friends to cheer him on he has the largest bed done up of gold .. but no wife to wake him up with a kiss on a b'ful morn he has all the luxuries, all the comforts that the world has to offer to him he has the best lighting system in his great mansion but no sleep in his eyes when the lights are dim and today ..sitting here by the riverside..with wet eyes...all he can do .. is to spit on the money...cry for the fame..crying for catching this contagious flu he's giving it such a deeep thought...with a calm brain though ..he is the same man..but he is a different man suddenly he takes out a phone..drops it by the riverside..with a smile on his face...now he knows about his next plan.. ummm..yea i know...it does not fit the song...maybe its ok for a poem..i mean...try and write someething like this.. ? if u find it ok...frankly..i don't.. but still....
nice lines keep writin n u could b earning extra bucks by sellin these to the record company.... Wats the harm... ? : )
Listen to my tune for "The First Rain" here - https://indianguitartabs.com/f26/first-rain-51844.html#post443969
