Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet God. God: Hi, what's your name? Paul: My name is Paul. God: Hi, Paul. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Paul: 15 lakh a year. God: Wow! Tell me, Paul, what were you doing to earn that kind of money? Paul: I was a lawyer. God: That's great. Come on in. God then turned to the second man. Hi, what's your name? Roger: My name is Roger. God: Hi, Roger. Tell me, when you died, how much were you earning? Roger: 9 lakh a year. God: Hey, that's great! Tell me, Roger, what did you do for a living? Roger: I was an accountant. God: That's very good. Come on in. God then turned to the third man. Hi, what's your name? Vader: My name is Vader. God: Tell me, Vader, how much were you earning when you died? Vader: About 30,000 God: A month? Vader: No, a year… (pause) God: ….what instrument did you play?
A note left for a man from his wife: Gone shopping,(have list), back in a minute A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, (have Liszt), Bach in a Minuet.
Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, "Not bad, but I could've done better".
Donald MacDonald from Scotland was admitted to Oxford University, and was now living in his first year of residence there. His clan was very excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but were concerned how he'd do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit, with reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal. "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Oh, Mother," he replied, shaking his head sadly, "they're such terrible, noisy people: The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop; and the one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night." "But Donald! How do you manage with those dreadful noisy English neighbours?" "Well, mother, I just ignore 'em. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."
Son: Dad! I need you to sign my test papers I got a A+ Dad(looking at papers): But ispe toh B- likha hai Son: Dad musical theory! Bb is A#!
An anthropologist decides to investigate the natives of a far-flung tropical island. He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site where he would make his collections. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the anthropologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide, "What are those drums?" The guide turned to him and said "Drums OK, but VERY VERY BAD when they stop." Then, after some hours, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the anthropologist like a ton of bricks, and he yelled at the guide: "The Drums have stopped, what happens now?" The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, "Bass Solo".
Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? A: It doesn't matter - bass players are never in the light anyway.
David Crosby’s incredible fingerpicking skills https://guitarbench.com/Images for articles/joke/csn.jpg