This is my first post here...it portrays a very sadist attitude... but thats how i'm leading my life...at least as of now.. Killing Time... I wonder wats goin on wrong Why i'm always being frowned upon Why's everythin slipping out of my hands Why can't i walk straight anymore Why i'm always on a mind tour The world's spinning around me and i'm the axis Nothing seems to chime I'm robbed of every single dime The world has made me grime I'm good for nothin but... Killing time... I hate the word interesting Everything in my life's so disgusting I wanna fly but the sky seems to be coming down I don't wanna see the light I like the darkness of graphite Every color of my life have fallen into the night All i have is wine Thats my favourite pastime Mixing vodka with lime I'm good for nothin but... Killing time...
good in shades I think it my duty to give you a authentic criticism for your post rather than just " well done" and "keep posting". Your subject is intriguing and first couple of stanzas are good however it seems you fell in trap of "forced rhyming" and made up lines even though you dint believe in them. Write abstract so that it atleast help you to be you. Please do away with last para as it totally doesn't sync with rest at all. Keep writing and let it come even if it takes days.
maybe u're about right about the forced rhyming thing.. but i mean each and every line i've written...nothin is exaggerated.. i'll try to make it better though..
compare to this: Sound of gunfire comes through the night Killing and hatred, it's a terrible sight Reports come in of the heavy attack Message received, we're moving back Preparations are made for the journey back It's a survival, supplies are packed No more nights in this eternal hell Destination is simple, we move out Killing time - you left from the line Killing time - your turn to kill Killing time - what do you say? Killing time - aha, killing time Ingenuity needed to keep us alive No time for cowardice, kill and survive Like a killer kid with a switchblade knife Nasty word, he'll take your life The silence is over, they attack again Killing and hatred drive me insane Reports come in of a heavy attack Message received, we're moving back Killing time - you left from the line Killing time - your turn to kill Killing time - what do you say? Killing time - aha, killing time Sound of gunfire comes through the night Killing and hatred, it's a terrible sight Reports come in of a heavy attack Message received, we're moving back Ingenuity needed to keep us alive No time for cowardice, kill and survive Like a killer kid with a switchblade knife Nasty word, he'll take your life Killing time - you left from the line Killing time - your turn to kill Killing time - what do you say? Killing time - aha, killing time
@ alpha1 .. there is absolutely no need to compare the compositions there is a sea of difference between both of them. @ rickkkyrich .. keep writing untill something inside you yells "perfect"
i read the two at the same time why do i think both of 'em rhyme? does seem force-rhym'd, but good 1 though, alwyZ good 2 xprez urself
Thanks nandy and arya.... If you liked it then you might like this as well... Check it out Lyrics to Killing Time (Processed) by The Demonic Spirits
Disclaimer to my original post: The comparison was not about the style of writing or the skill involved. It was about the theme. Killing time for one person ... compared to killing time for another. *BTW the song I posted is "killing time" by Sweet Savage covered by Metallica.
I dont like your potrayal of yourself as a victim of circumstances. Maybe your the one spinning and the world is actually standing still?