ek boondh pyaar

Hello, Posting my 2nd poem... I hope anyone reading it will like it.

Waqt simat raha tha, kahi badal mein chalte chalte,
Raftaar badh rahi thi, dil kein dhadkone mein kapte kapte,
Panchi dhoond raha tha tinka, woh subha ki roshni kein sang chalte chalte.

marmaat abhi baki thi, magar waqt ka saath muje mil na paya.
Koshish karta raha Panchi magar, uska tarika galat aaya.

Nilee aasma ko dekh woh pouch nein laga ussee.
Ki, aaj uska pyaar sung hota toh pura hota yeh lamha boontein boontein.


Iss dhup mein chalte chalte waqt ho gaya hai muje,
talap hai toh buss itni, ki woh ek boondh pyaar , aur .... mar jau haste haste.


Comments are welcome.

 

i like it
flaws ...badal bhuut upar hote hain ..kewal eagles udti hai utna uppar..and eagles hunt scavengers..no need of tinka aur pyaar

 

woh panchi mein hu.

 

:O ...Hooooo ...gande bacchae.. aisa nahi kehte...lol

 

me too......
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could you explain the meaning of the following lines::??

meaning of kapte kapte????

boontein boontein???

talap?

I feel there are flaws to be corrected 2 make it more readable, I liked the concept!!!!!
good work, cheers!

 

kapte kapte= shivering feelings. (e.g: Log thand sein kapte rehte hai)
boontein boontein= to craft

 

^
U want Polio Dose?

 

^lol.........

 

Very nice one....i swayed with emotions.

If you could explain "boontein"...didnt getr the emaning really?
"talap hai toh buss itni " ..also this line...

I must say keep it up....