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  1. #1
    nandy0894 is offline IGT Addict
    Join Date
    May 2010

    the photography tale.. :P

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
    father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
    arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
    here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
    photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    "Good morning, madam. I've come to...."
    "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
    "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
    "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

    After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
    couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
    fun too; you can really spread out!"
    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
    "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
    try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
    angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
    "My, that's a lot of....." gasped Mrs. Smith.
    "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
    and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
    "Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
    baby pictures.
    "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
    "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
    mother was so difficult to work with"
    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
    done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
    a good look"
    "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
    "Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
    mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
    Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
    squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,"
    "That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
    can get to work."
    "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
    me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ....... Good Lord, she's
    i am strong on the surface... not all the way through..
    i've never been perfect but neither have you...
    so if you're asking me i want you to know..
    when my time comes..forget the wrong that i've done , help me leave behind some..reasons to be missed..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Hahaha..Good one!!!!
    Guitars : USA Fender Stratocaster 1981 Collectors Series, Ibanez RG420eg, Cort X6vpr Snake skin, Custom Tele Style Guitar
    Processor : Boss ME 70
    Amps: Laney Cub10(4 Sale), Roland Microcube
    Recording : Focusrite Scarlett 2i2, Shure SM57
    For Sale: Sansamp Tri-AC

  3. #3
    rickkkyrich Guest

  4. #4
    arniehawk's Avatar
    arniehawk is offline Guitarist
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Super shoot

  5. #5
    mermaid is offline Guitarist
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    hahahah toooo gud!!

  6. #6
    horsesmouth's Avatar
    horsesmouth is offline IGTIAN
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    hahaa...thats awesome !Rest my cannon on a tripod...superlol !
    I've hung around and I've taken my time,
    I've beat the dust and kissed the grime;
    Stand I shall, not for you though,
    Its just me now, wherever I may go.

  7. #7
    alpha1's Avatar
    alpha1 is offline I BLUES!
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Why not a surrogate mother?
    No copulation required ...
    You donít get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate.



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