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Thread: Gender Jokes

  1. #1
    rickkkyrich Guest

    Cool Gender Jokes


    How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
    Both of them.

    Why did the man cross the road?
    He heard the chicken was a slut.

    Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    They don't have time.

    Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
    They won't stop to ask directions.

    How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
    He buys two cases of beer.

    What is the difference between men and government bonds?
    The bonds mature.

    Why are blonde jokes so short?
    So men can remember them.

    How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
    We don't know; it has never happened.

    Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
    They all already have boyfriends.

    What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
    A Widow

    Why are married women heavier than single women?
    Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
    Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

    How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
    His hand caught fire.

    How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
    Put the remote control between his toes.

    What did God say after creating Adam?
    I can do better than that.

    What did God say after creating Eve?
    "Practice makes perfect."

    How are men and parking spots alike?
    Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped = or extremely small.

    What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
    They are married

    Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
    God says: "So you would love her."
    "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
    God says: "So she would love you."

    ************************************************** *******************=


    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

    How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
    When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't, there's a clock on the oven!

    Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

    Why were shopping carts invented?
    To teach women to walk on their hind legs.

    Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog of least he'll shut up after you let him in.

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman that won't do what she's told.

    What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's *** drive by 90%... WEDDING CAKE!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Takla Makaan
    Quote Originally Posted by rickkkyrich View Post
    How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood?
    His hand caught fire.
    This made my day!! :P
    All I wanted was a gun.... And they handed me a guitar instead....


    - Samick Greg Bennett Avion AV3 modded w/ Seymour Duncan Full Shred Neck (N) and Duncan Distortion Bridge (B)
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  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Lol...Good ones...!!!
    Guitars : USA Fender Stratocaster 1981 Collectors Series, Ibanez RG420eg, Cort X6vpr Snake skin, Custom Tele Style Guitar
    Processor : Boss ME 70
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  4. #4
    Super-Admin's Avatar
    Super-Admin is offline Will soon change from 'Super-Admin' to 'Admin'
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    LOL ... ROFLMAO - Some good ones ... nice compilation...

  5. #5
    rickkkyrich Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Super-Admin View Post
    LOL ... ROFLMAO - Some good ones ... nice compilation...
    I haven't heard from you since then. What happened?



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