A guy decides that maybe he'd like to have a pet andgoes to a pet shop.
After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it doesn't haveany feet or legs. The guy says out loud, "Geez, I wonder what happened tothis parrot?"
"I was born this way," saysthe parrot. "I'm a defectiveparrot."
"Ha, ha," the guy laughs."It sounded like this parrotactually understood what Isaid and answered me."
"I understand every word," says the parrot. "I am a highly intelligent andthoroughly educated bird."
"Yeah?" the guy asks."Then answer this: how doyou hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says,"this is a little embarrassing, but since you asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penisaround this wooden bar, kind of like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy, "youreally can understand and answer; can't you?"
"Of course. I speak both Spanish and English. I can converse with reasonable competence on almost anysubject: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.And I am especially good at ornithology. You shouldbuy me; I am a great companion."
The guy looks at the$200.00 price tag. He says."I can't afford that."
"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet. You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."
The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out withthe parrot. Weeks go by and the parrot is sensational. He's funny; he's interesting; he's a great pal, he understands everything, sympathizes, and gives good advice. Theguy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Pssst," and motions him over with one wing. The guy goes upclose to the cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not," says the parrot, "but it's about yourlover and the mailman."
"What?" asks the guy.
"Well," the parrot says,"when the mailman came to the door today, your lover greeted him in a pairof briefs that showed everything and kissed him on the mouth."
"What happened then?" asks the guy.
"Then the mailman came into the house and put his hand on your lovers crotchand began petting him all over," reports the parrot.
"My God!" the guy says."Then what?"
"Then he pulled down the briefs, got down on his knees and began to lick him, starting with his chest, slowly going down and down." The parrot pauses for a long time...
"What happened? What happened?" says the frantic guy.
"That's what pisses me off.I don't know." said the parrot. "I got a hard-on, and fell off my ****ing perch.