Before i comment on this, i would like to pointedly express the fact that i am not a good poet, nor that much of a reader of poetry. I enjoy the wordplay and the sensory activity, but i always interpret it in 10 different ways. Anyhow
As you mentioned, it is evident that you spent a decent time getting the rhyming to work. Dont get me wrong, it was very good, but the next time, as you mentioned again, dont pay too much attention. If the poem's good, it wont matter.
Next, the theme. The theme was a simple but universally felt one. The best part about it is, nearly everyone can identify with it. And then the poem becomes an eloquent articulation of our feelings thus making it very pleasing to read. Also you used good judgment. You didnt make the poem too grandiose or verbose. And thus it doesnt seem pretentious.
Simplicity is truly elegance and silence is indeed golden, but too much of either tarnishes the overall quality. I was happy with the way you wrote out the poem in a simple and accessible manner. However with a theme like this, which is so personal and close to the heart, it is OK to use a few complex words. What i'm saying is, you clearly come across as a person having the potential to do a lot more, so dont 'dumb it down' too much.
Apart from that, i have nothing to say. I enjoyed the poem and i will be looking forward to more from you. God bless.
"While the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth."
robotpajamas: since Im going to be giving the CAT this year
d_ist_urb_ed: To whom?
robotpajamas: f*ck you