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Thread: Soul

  1. #1
    rockin'away's Avatar
    rockin'away is offline Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2005


    hooked to every needle
    pierced in every side
    the blood streams
    yet no pain

    clamped to sharp spikes
    family died before me
    the loss is large
    yet no tears

    death awaits around the corner
    can hit me any moment
    this doesnt effect me now
    i have no soul

  2. #2
    tejas's Avatar
    tejas is offline ..........
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Hmm....Honestly, I don't like it much. Sorry, but its kinda vague. Take some time out to explain a few questions like Why? and How?. Its a start, definitely, so work on it. It needs a lot more.
    Overwhelmed as one would be, placed in my position
    Such a heavy burden now to be the one
    Born to bear and read you all the details of our ending
    To write it down for all the world to see
    But I forgot my pen, Shit the bed again...



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