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Thread: The Prisoner

  1. #16
    ~Bish's Avatar
    ~Bish is offline The Illusionist
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Wow.. i really like when ppl write on such themes.. instead of writing on romatic themes.. well i m no one to give any feedback on such a beautiful thought.. but still somehow i feel.. thought was nice but execution was not so touching.. didn't feel the loneliness and pain which a real prisoner goes through... but hats off to the theme and lines written..

  2. #17
    fairandlovely is offline peeka-boo
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    in castles in the air
    I like the dullness at the beginning and end but I think the intensity should have risen at the point where freedom is within sight. I read the explanation but I don't think you've even come close to capturing all that as you've yourself pointed out. Why didn't you make this into a series of sorts? Part 1 could be acceptance, the second quiet desperation, the third being an introduction to the wardens psyche in general, the fourth perhaps an interaction between the two and then going on from there. Something like a concept album.

    5 verses was a weak attempt.


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