She was on the verge of loosing it and she knew that. Life had thrown a few too many punches and she was beginning to loose patience. None of her hopes had come true. She spent many sleepless nights keeping hopelessness as her only companion. She had lost her job three month ago and still no sign of another job anywhere. Over thirty interviews and still no luck. The month’s end was nearing and her mother was home, waiting for her to pay the electricity bills, gas bills, water bills, phone bills, and the list goes on. The weather is getting colder; she couldn’t afford to have the gas line cut off. Her father’s medication needed to be purchased, the rent hadn’t been paid, and the groceries were eating up what little money that was left in the bank. Her little sister needed school supplies for the upcoming school year.
Her parents were no longer her parents it seemed. They were her children now and so was her sister. She was no longer a little girl who could run to her mother for every problem she had. She was now a 28 year old single mother, but she hadn’t done anything to deserve that title, how could she be a mother? She hadn’t been an angel her whole life but certainly she hadn’t done the wicked thing that takes to turn a collage student into a single mother. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. Life couldn’t have been meant to be this difficult. Her old high school sweetheart was married now, with two kids of his own. Where was her life, how had things gotten so distorted. Seeing him with his wife and two kids brought out pains that she’s kept locked inside herself for so long.
He was supposed to be her’s. He had promised her that eleven years ago. How had they fallen apart. Nothing made sense anymore. Couldn’t she go back to being a 17 year old? Lying in his arms with her whole life planned to perfection? They would get married after finishing collage, she would become an English teacher for the high school they went to and he would teach math. They would save up to buy the small house near the school that they’d always been so fond of. They would have two kids, a boy and a girl; of course she would put her career on hold and stay home with the children after they were born….
She was driving home in her dad’s broken old car. The car, she thought, it was the same one her father was driving when he got into the accident. The accident that left him useless. The accident that turned her life up side down. She hadn’t finished her studies, she wasn’t a English teacher now. These days she was running around looking for odd jobs that would at least let her pay for her family’s basic needs. The air was getting colder; she’d better get home soon before it starts to snow. She’d bought the rice and fish her mother had requested, although the trip to the bank ended up being more of a torture treatment then she bargained for. That’s where she saw him with his happy family, his little daughter had called her aunty, and she looked so much like him that holding back the tears was quite a challenge.
There in the car, the tears came hard. It was unsafe to drive this way, she could hardly see the road, so she decided to park beside a sidewalk and let her tears take control. She wept for a while and then the voice inside her started to talk. Life goes on she thought, nothing ever happens the way you wanted it to but life goes on. She will find a job, she will pay the bills, and until her parent’s death and her sister’s marriage, she will take care of them. After all, her parents took care of her, and it was time for her to return the favor. After all, he had abandoned her, what did she expect? Childhood love falls apart, she understood that now, but a family never does. And someday in the distant future, perhaps she will once again be a part of another family that will stay together, as this one had done. Perhaps that family will not give her this feeling of hopelessness that this one had given unintentionally.
perhaps it will also offer just as much love as this one had done….
i feel silly posting it again but i like this story and so i am sharing....i know not too many ppl will read it but still.....