He left me, to be happy.
I felt him to be happier.
But that doesnt allow me to smile
Doesnt stop my heart, cry.
Worried was I, when found myself
Not decent enough in public, to loiter
Freely, unknown to my mind.
But this was just to unwind
My deepest of thoughts
curled for long, unmeasurable miles
which hid my thousand smiles...
Then it struck me...
Lightning that made me think,
My eyes wink
Gone are those hazy lines
To see him much clear
For he resides in my heart
My FRIEND who is such a dear.
My dear Friend.
it hasnt been constructed well..
compared to ur other poems i dont like the structure of this one
grammatical errors can be overlooked but the poem should get the thought across..
Since you are in the thinking process and are open to corrections
redo the poem on your own rather than taking some input from others
You would know better what you wanna say..
and what exactly you wanna describe the relation,person event etc
the thoughts at present..what i see...look scattered..
i get a feel i know what u wanna say..but the very next line jus betrays my thinking..
Sorry if that sounded rude or harsh
i also apologise if i come across as a pro when it comes to poetry..
but jus wanted to give my views
Thus drifting afar to the dim-vaulted caves
Where life and its ventures are laid,
The dreamers who gaze while we battle the waves
May see us in sunshine or shade;
Yet true to our course, though the shadows grow dark,
We'll trim our broad sail as before,
And stand by the rudder that governs the bark,
Nor ask how we look from the shore!
Oliver Wendell Holmes