This is actually very nice. This has the same story but presented in a more reader friendly way. Now that your poetry has become much more readable, I hope you don't mind me nitpicking...
Just an observation - do you have to change your person in the below lines?
"calm and pious we think him to be
closing our eyes as we worship him under that tree"
Because till there I had an image of you standing by and observing the fallacy of the people. Changing to first person makes it sound like you have joined them in their belief. And still you criticize him...
-- My current rig
Guitar: '98 MIJ Ibanez RG520 QS w EMG 81/60
Amp: Laney LC15R Tube, Fernandes 20W SS
Pedals: MI Audio Tube Zone Overdrive, Boss OD3, CS3, MT2, HM2, DS2, CE5, DD7, TU3, Beta Aivin DD2 Delay, Dunlop Crybaby 95Q, Stranger Vol Pedal, BBE SupaCharger
Others: Yamaha RBX 374 Bass, Yamaha MM-6 Synth, M-Audio Fast Track, Shure SM-57, Heet Sound E-Bow Plus
Wanted(pm if selling): EB VPJr/Boss FV500L,Ibanez w Original/Lo-Pro Edge