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Thread: The Butterfly

  1. #1
    ~Bish's Avatar
    ~Bish is offline The Illusionist
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Thumbs up The Butterfly


    here it goes..

    I am a butterfly
    trying too hard to fly
    With every breath i take
    lot of things i try to fake

    this world looks lifeless
    my destiny in complete mess
    only thing which i m proud of
    is the freedom which i can show off

    there used to be a pink flower
    where i used to hide during shower
    don't know why i am missing her
    don't know why i am shouting from so far

    they say one prince came one day
    plucked and took her on his way
    still there are many flowers left
    but the one is gone where my heart was kept

    Is it a mistake to be beautiful
    or its a crime to be wonderful
    things come and go nothing remains
    happiness goes and brings lot of pains

    Heared some whispers in garden
    she died the next day when
    she was used for a while and thrown
    still her body lies dead on that stone

    Oh god,in next life please make her ugly
    but still would like to be her butterfly
    lost in her petals i will sleep
    smile sometimes and sometimes weep...


  2. #2
    #iR@'s Avatar
    #iR@ is offline GANDI BACHI RELOADED
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    Jun 2005
    SUCH AN AWESOME poem and NO reply?!!! wat has gotten into everyone... luved every line of it man! great flow i must say... keep riting
    .: is it just |\/|E ... or is it the \/\/0rLD? :.

  3. #3
    madhuresh's Avatar
    madhuresh is offline madhuresh
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    Jun 2005
    don't know why i am shouting from so far

    the only line whch has effect..... personally feel its now well written....its something crafted ...may be i am wrong...but that was the reason i didnt wanted to comment first

  4. #4
    i'm_not_neo's Avatar
    i'm_not_neo is offline el valor máximo absoluto
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Liked it...great work man.The poem changed it's course completely after the second stanza..

    I think you really have good skill in writing from the third person point of view..though this opinion is based on 2 of your best works so far (IMO)The Stone and The Butterfly...
    "I feel like I'm number one,yet I'm last in line..."

    "So I think I'll keep on walking,with my head held high...
    And only God knows why..."

    Only God Knows Why - Kid Rock

  5. #5
    ~Bish's Avatar
    ~Bish is offline The Illusionist
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Thanx guyz.. luv u all..

  6. #6
    nils's Avatar
    nils is offline Beginner
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    May 2005
    awesome man.... just beautiful !
    I love metaphors

  7. #7
    nimisha's Avatar
    nimisha is offline .:Forum Leader:.
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    नमो सुरस्वयंसिद्धा, नमो नादस्वरुपीणि I
    नमो ब्रम्हांडध्वनिर्मयी, नमो तस्यै नमो नमः II
    ----------- निमिषा-----------------

  8. #8
    atooljoshi's Avatar
    atooljoshi is offline Newbie
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    Oct 2007
    hey man very good poem

  9. #9
    fairandlovely is offline peeka-boo
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    in castles in the air
    there used to be a pink flower
    where i used to hide during shower

    I dont like these lines but apart from this it was very nicely written. Hope to read more from you.

  10. #10
    monica_decosta is offline Composer
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    good lines



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