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  1. #1
    slashboyin's Avatar
    slashboyin is offline Newbie
    Join Date
    Jul 2005

    Talking the Stupidest people to ever dial 911!!

    Here they are folks,

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

    Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from

    the brown house on the corner.

    Dispatcher: Do you have an address?

    Caller: No, I'm wearing a blouse and slacks, why?

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

    Caller: Someone broke into my house and took

    a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich.

    Dispatcher: Excuse me?

    Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table

    and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.

    Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?

    Caller: No, but this has happened to me before

    and I'm sick and tired of it.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?

    Caller: Hi, is this the Police?

    Dispatcher: This is 9-1-1. Do you need police assistance?

    Caller: Well, I don't know who to call.

    Can you tell me how to cook a turkey? I've never cooked one before.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 Fire or emergency?

    Caller: Fire, I guess.

    Dispatcher: How can I help you sir?

    Caller: I was wondering.....does the fire department put snow chains on
    their trucks?

    Dispatcher: Yes sir, do you have an emergency?

    Caller: Well, I've spent the last 4 hours trying to put these chains on my

    and... well.. do you think the fire department could

    come over and help me?

    Dispatcher: Help you what?

    Caller: Help me get these &*%$ chains on my car!

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?

    Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven

    but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.

    Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.

    Caller: I thought you just sai d it was nine-one-one.

    Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.

    Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?

    Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.

    Dispatcher: Is this her first child?

    Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

    And the winner is..........

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1

    Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing.

    I'm all out of breath.

    Darn....I think I'm going to pass out.

    Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?

    Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.

    Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?

    Caller: No

    Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

    Caller: Running from the Police.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    my chair
    there is a thread called the pj thread where we post such jokes next time add it there

    already read sth such b4 but still made me laugh

  3. #3
    vini is offline Repeat Offender
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Secret Garden
    but never mind..i had a good laugh..the best one was how to cook turkey..lolol
    .. Rock got no reason
    Rock got no rhyme ..

  4. #4
    jocelyn's Avatar
    jocelyn is offline Composer
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    I liked the last one and the Ham sandwich one the best... :0
    John 8:32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."



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