hmm thanks people but some comments were in hindi and i don't speak or understand hindi
so i'm sorry if i did not acknowledge ya help in that ..
shsnawada : you are absolutely right , i'm against myself .. what do u expect a normal human would do when all those u consider making up most of your world make you feel that way ..
aaron103: sorry to bring those to ya attention .. lol .. peace
di_sturb_ed : yup , i did ... didn't really help me though , he gave me the same crap .. but thanks for the suggestion
sslayer : you are the man!! u rock ... u seem to understand what i'm going through ... nobody ever helped me this way ... i know nothing much can be said over typing , but seriously , thanks .... cheers ..