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  1. #1
    lord_neo Guest

    Talking New Words for 2006

    TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

    BLAMESTORMING. Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

    SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

    ASSMOSIS. The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

    SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

    CUBE FARM. An office filled with cubicles.

    PRAIRIE DOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

    SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a home business.

    SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

    STRESS PUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

    PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

    ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes.

    404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

    OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

    GOING FOR A Mc5H1T. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a Mc5hit with Lies.

    AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

    AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French kiss, but given down under.

    BEER COAT. The invisible, but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am.

    BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from.

    BREAKING THE SEAL. Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

    BRITNEY SPEARS. Modern Slang for 'beers', e.g. "Couple of Britney's please".

    GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

    JOHNNY-NO-STARS. A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often wear to show their level of training.

    MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonder bra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.
    MONKEY BATH. A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!".

    MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

    MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

    NELSON MANDELA. Rhyming Slang for 'Stella' (the lager).

    PEARL HARBOUR. Cold (weather). An example of it would be - "It's a bit Pearl Harbour out there" (there's a nasty nip in the air).

    PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks.

    SALAD DODGER. An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

    SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive woman.

    TART FUEL. Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

    URI GELLER. See Nelson Mandela (above).

  2. #2
    jamhead's Avatar
    jamhead is offline Unknown Legend
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Over the Hills and Far Away
    fantastic post lord neo.

    tussi chha gaye !!!

    btw, if you meet a SINBAD then please let me know cos i am qitte 404 about these matters and often have OHNOSECONDS, especially with PICASSO BUM SWAMP DONKEYs dressed in GREYHOUNDS and high on TART FUEL.
    "Take my hand, my child of love
    Come step inside my tears
    Swim the magic ocean,
    I've been crying all these years"

    "I liked the world where i used to live
    I never really wanted to live"

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    my chair
    i think u better not go for sinbad or u may end up as a stress puppy

  4. #4
    zing's Avatar
    zing is offline Machine Head
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Land of the Clouds a.k.a Meghalaya
    gr8 post
    MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

  5. #5
    UjSen's Avatar
    UjSen is offline *#!EVIL*!!
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    shifted from paradise city to Axe Land:D

    GREAT POST!!!!!!!!!!
    >>>>>>>>NEVER GONNA STEAL POINTS,<<<<<<<
    >>>>>>>>>>>>>REP ME PLEASE!!<<<<<<<<<<<<

    u think life's a *****......................................and
    then u meet me.



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