How To Break A Bad News
At dawn the telephone rings.
"Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo your country house caretaker"
"Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died"
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?"
"That's the one."
"Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh
well...what did he die from?"
"From eating rotten meat."
"Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?"
"Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses."
"Dead horse? What dead horse Mr. Arnaldo?"
"Why, those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all
that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we used to put out the fire."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on
"What the...!!! But theres electricity at the house!!!! What was the
"For the funeral."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!"
"Your mother's! She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought
was a thief, so I shot her."
I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to. - Hendrix
If you can remember the '60s, then you weren't there. - Unknown
I'm shopping around for something to do that no one will like. - Jerry Garcia
Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. - Janis Joplin
On stage I make love to twenty five thousand people; and then I go home alone. - Janis Joplin