I. I am thy Main Squeeze;
thou shalt squeeze no others before me.
II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain,
nor badmouth me behind my back.
III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.
IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too weird.
V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily
and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.
VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou
even THINK about it if thou knowest what's good for thee.
VII. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet
while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards,
nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.
VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
IX. Thou shalt not nag.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Squeeze.